Not My Original Vows

Games That Make You Wonder

2012-01-15T08:16:00.000-05:00

I started playing a few on-line games recently thanks to Cookie. She sent me a friend request, and on a whim I decided to accept. All these years I have been on Facebook I have never accepted a request for anything. Now, I know why. They are addicting, time consuming, and before you know it several hours have past. They draw you in, and to go on to other levels, or expand property, you have to get friends to help-thus, all those annoying requests I've received over the years. Funny, now I am the one sending them. I have however stuck to people I see participate in the same games.

The object of both games-Gardens of Time and Gnome Town is to find hidden objects in a cluttered scene. After a few days of playing, my spanko mindset kicked in and began to wonder if the inventors may have a little kink in their blood as well. There are items of all sorts to please kinks of all kinds. For a spanker/spankee there is the belt, cane, brush, and handprint. For time-out's-a bench or stool, even a hour-glass or pocket watch to help you keep track of time. For bondage- rope or chain. If you lean towards more extreme play, you have a strand of barbwire or bullwhip. If your into role-play there is a school uniform, or a gavel if you feel like finalizing a punishment in a court setting. I am sure there are several other items I am missing, but these are just a few that peaked my interest and made me wonder what if....

Thomas also sent me a link to a game called KOL. He has written about this game on his blog. This game also has paddles of all sorts, and other items that make you think what if as well.

So this made me think, are the games really for children or kinky adults with active imaginations?
(smiles)

A New Year Approaches

2012-01-03T16:45:00.000-05:00

This last year was good, but there are a few things I'm going to change. I'm going to give myself more me time. On Sundays, I'm going to take time again to read other people's blogs and comment. I feel like I have been so out of touch. I also want to write more. It used to be my outlet while Luke was away. I think when I gave up my weekend to get away- so did the writing. Because Tampa Tanners has a party once a month, I felt guilty leaving the family to get away. It's hard when one parent is gone. While Luke is away I want everything perfect. I put a lot of pressure on myself. It's more because what he does, he can't worry about his family, he needs to concentrate one hundred percent on his job. After all these years though I have a pretty good handle on things. I was talking with another wife whose husband shares the same profession. We talked about being a jack of all trades, replacing leaky toilets, mending fences, patching roofs, and replacing lighting. We finally decided to buy here in Florida. I took him to see the house I want yesterday. He liked it, but he usually says whatever makes me happy. I will be doing all the negotiation and moving once again by myself-good times!

Speaking of Luke.... Adapting to change is hard! It has been six months since we have seen each other. You think the reunion would be all fireworks. I haven't slept but a couple hours a night since he has been back, not from sex, because there is now another person sharing my sleeping space. He also stays up late because of being in a different time zone, and then sleeps in later. I still need to be up early to start my day. While he is away we have such a different schedule- I have changed everything around because I want his time here pleasant. My daughter who home schools is very distracted with Daddy being home. I did find a solution. Every Wednesday for these next few weeks she is excused from school and she has no gym that day. It is officially daddy/ daughter day. They have already planned there first "date day" tomorrow. Then there are the little things like: the grocery bill higher because they shop with you, his stuff strewn about the house, and of course, the toilet seat left up. I'm just waiting for one of those nights I am half a sleep and plunk down into chilly waters. He is only here for three weeks and then I won't see him again until April.

We will have a busy year traveling. We have gymnastic meets until April. We are taking a week or so in March to go home to Oregon. I am getting a new granddaughter. In April after season, we will go visit Luke for ten days in a different country. We might make another trip in July back to Idaho for the 4th to spend with my family there. In September, my oldest son is getting married in Texas. I am hoping on the way home to stop in Oklahoma to see my girlfriend and her hubby.

I am looking forward to 2012 and what it may bring. Of course, I have new diet and exercise resolutions like half of America. I will fit that in somewhere too.

December Happenings

2011-12-26T18:53:00.001-05:00

The Tampa Tanner party was cancelled this month due to Cookie and I being ill. I was sick for the first few weeks of December. I am good all year, but it seems for the last two years, I've been sick around Christmas. This time Thomas grounded me to bed rest for four days. For those who don't know me to well, it was torture. The first day was great relaxing, reading, and watching movies on my computer, but the days following not so fun. I truly did not feel well, it's just I felt like I should be up doing things. Since, I got so behind, I was frantically running to get my kids and grandkids gifts mailed the Friday before Christmas. They did get there on time, which thrilled me. A few days prior to Christmas, I had Cookie & Thomas, and their son over for dinner. We also exchanged gifts. My daughter calls them her Aunt and Uncle. Thomas also helps my daughter with Math, so she bought him a few thank you gifts. I did end up having a good Christmas despite most of my family not here, I just enjoyed the ones who were here.

I was hoping to have one more GG spanking before the end of the year, but it doesn't look like that will happen. Unfortunately, I have a debt to pay when I do see Thomas again. That will be towards the end of January. The good news... Luke is coming home for three weeks! I have not seen him since July. I am very excited for our time together. Although, it's weird when they are gone for so long, it's an adjustment having them back. I'm sure those that have hubby's that travel extended periods of time understand. I do have lots of things planned, and he will have me cooking up a storm with all his favorite meals. My daughter starts her gymnastic season, and is excited he will be here to see two of her meets. After her season we will be traveling to see Luke for ten days. It will be fun visting a foreign country.

I haven't been writing much. I seemed to have lost my mojo. I'm hoping it comes back soon. Stories used to just come to me, and now nothing. It's kind of sad. I'm going to try participating in Flash Fiction Friday again after Luke leaves to see if I can't stir something up. Even just blogging...I'm at a loss for words. Hopefully, in these next few weeks with Luke coming I will have some things to share.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and has a Happy New Year.

****I just updated my other blog~ Katia's Writings. You can check it out by hitting the link on the side bar.

I Haven't Disappeared

2011-11-08T13:34:00.001-05:00

I apologize for the long absence from my blogs. Since Luke left in July, my life is double-duty. I don't have just things happening here in Florida. My kids are also spread out in Oregon and New Mexico. I have family in Idaho, and my dad was pretty sick for awhile. We also have property in California and Oregon that I have to keep up with too. On top of Luke leaving, we have started the school season. My youngest is 6/7 grade this year. We homeschool, and she has taken on a pretty heavy load this year. Thomas has been gracious enough to come and teach/tutor her Math portion. My daughter is a perfectionist, and loves to look at her percentages on reports with Thomas. She is not happy if it's not 100 percent. We are also starting competition season with her gymnastics. This starts in January and ends in April. She is an Optional Level 7. She goes 5 days a week, almost 20 hours a week.

October was a busy time with events. I started by taking my daughter to Zoo Boo at the Lowery Park Zoo. They had haunted houses, and some rides were open. Next year, we will be attending Busch Gardens event.

I have been busy with Tampa Tanners as well. We just did our Halloween party. It was smaller in attendance, but almost all new people. We had fun decorating the ballroom where we held the party. The maintenance crew was even accommodating in drilling a hole in a beam, attaching a screw with a line to hold our ghost filled pinata. Thomas sent up a large tent structure. He had a small chair and caldron in there. As with all all parties, our guests took home goody bags. This party was special, we also celebrated Shy's birthday; our youngest Tampa Tanner. She turned nineteen. Cookie and I dressed as mis-matched Spanking Stars aka Thomas' Spanking whores. Cookie and I also attended Wicked Wednesday's Halloween party thrown by Master Michelle. She wrapped part of me in plastic. It was nice and warm. You can see more pictures on the the Tampa Tanners webiste at: tampatanners.info or on their blogs as well.

I have been participating in the Fantasy Football league that Todd and Suzy put together from American Spanking Society. I am in 6th place currently. It helps having Aaron Rodgers as my QB this year. I will give more details on this at a later time. I have only made one bet this season, and it was with Todd. I won! I got a GG spanking. Thomas wouldn't bet me this year, because his team hasn't been doing so well. He ended up winning... made me giggle.

I just spent some time last week doing some filming with Thomas and Cookie. We did a promo video for Cane-iac. You can see it on Spanking Tube. The implements were quite painful. Thomas throughly enjoyed himself, Cookie and I, not so much. Thomas also shot a couple scenarios with Cookie and I. Those promo's will be on Spanking Tube, and you can purchase the full clips at their stores. The links are in my sidebar.

I will try to get on here and post the details to our Thanksgiving Party coming up next week. I miss coming to blog and catching up with everyone else's blogs too.

I added a short story at: http://katiaswritings.blogspot.com/. I hope you enjoy.

Tampa Tanners Back to School Bash

2011-08-27T19:14:00.000-04:00

It has been a week since the Back to School party. I have been so busy playing catch up since I put many things on hold to concentrate my efforts into the event. We arrived early to set up vendor tables and decorate in a back to school room theme.

Leatherthorn and L mean Leather attended selling their goods. Cookie set up a booth to benefit the Lupus foundation. You still have a chance for a lexan cane set by Cane-iac. We will be drawing the winner at our October Halloween Party.

You can check out the details at here: https://fetlife.com/groups/38707/group_posts/1697466

Cali from the Spanking Court also had a booth selling cute panties, paddles, and such. I bought a couple pairs, and a lovely oak paddle. Friday night was registration and a pizza party to welcome the guests. Red Palmer hooked us up with the pizza from his work, and even made a butt pizza with pepperoni to show the red marks. The numbers were a little lower than we hoped, but it all worked out perfectly. Cookie and Dazey had court that evening. Afterwards, I had an opportunity spend some time with Judge Spanks for some rope play. This is not standard at our parties, but since no one objected, I volunteered quickly. I have recently become very interested in rope play. I not only enjoy being bound, but watching others. I think it's amazing.

Saturday, was the vendor fair and my day in court. Thomas charged me with failure to follow my diet and journal as I should. I was so nervous, but the entire Spanking Court were all so friendly, they put me at ease quickly. It is so realistic standing behind the podium presenting your case. The beautiful Dana Kane is the Bailiff and was quick to cuff me upon the reading of the guilty verdict.You change into an oversized orange shirt and pants, and are handed guilty panties. Then you are escorted over to the Court Disciplinarian Villain. He stated I failed to meet my RDF- recommended daily food intake, so I would be receiving a RDS- recommended daily spanking. My punishment was 100 swats with an oak paddle. I look rather sore and bruised in the picture, but by that evening as conditioned as my backside is, it had all but disappeared... unfortunately.

That evening we had a catered dinner and handed out rulers for guests to sign. This was originally going to be our icebreaker game, but we just never had time. We also gave out the door prizes and everyone walked away with a prize, and then some.

For only being five months old, this was quite an undertaking. I would also like to give thanks to the coordinator for the court, he played a big part in getting them to the party. Our next big party will be in February 2013. It will be our two year anniversary. We will continue our monthly themed parties and Meet and Greets. You can always follow us at tampatanners.info. Cookie is great about adding pictures of all our events.

There were so many great moments that will leave lasting memories for a long time to come. Cookie and I couldn't have been more pleased how everything turned out.

Blogitis

2011-08-05T20:24:00.003-04:00

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in such a long time. I just have not had it in me. I took a trip to the west coast to see family and friends. It was a good time, but the down side was the flights. While there, I had to take care of a my storage unit in California. With the help of my son we had it done in about three hours. While packing the stuff in a barn on my property, my son was going through the cupboards. He came across a very funny coin that must have belonged to my father-in-law.

The front of the coin was of a naked woman, and the backside was of a bare bottom. Which read,"Tails you lose." I thought it was hilarious, my son wanted to keep it.

I couldn't resist taking a picture of this bar, it was owned by two female's when I lived in Oregon. Not sure, if they still own the place. They had a very good sense of humor- "Dilligafs" stands for: "Do I look like I give a Fucking Shit."

It seems where ever you travel you can find something having to do with our kink. When I was in Idaho, I visited a place called Shoshone Falls they sold cheaply made bullwhips.

When I returned I had the Tampa Tanners Spanking Fireworks party. Although, we were missing some of our regulars, we still had a fantastic party, with some new people as well. We played Twister, spanker style, the one to fall first got spanked. We also played Spankopoly. Then of course, it was the part I love best. Playtime! Cookie and Thomas decided to give me one together.

It hasn't been all fun and games. That night after the party I had a pretty serious punishment to answer for. I took five hundred strokes with the cane. I am sure you are wondering how I could have such a large punishment. When Luke left, I asked Thomas to write a list of rules to take more control. I had a book in mind when I first asked this of him. The rules are pretty strict. One of the rules covers a problem I have had for quite some time... a potty mouth. He assigned 6 strokes of the cane for every word I say.

Even just uttering a few can add up quickly. He has also become creative with lines and alternative punishments. My rules when hand written are about 4 pages. Unfortunately for me in my rules are words forbidden. The rules clearly state I am punished whether I say them or write them. When I have to write my rules that is 48 strokes right off the bat, so you see how it could add up quickly. This last week I received over 600 strokes. Even though it was painful, it affected me much deeper. I have been burying so much since Luke has left, I was finally able to have a good cry. We were only going to keep these rules in effect for 30 days, but they have actually been really good for me. It doesn't just cover language, it touches on my diet and exercise, caffeine intake, even making body altercations like making piercings forbidden. He can also add a rule or a punishment on a whim, so it definitely keeps me on my toes. I am really starting to hate the cane! Getting spanked on thighs... I despise this even more.

On August 19-21 is the Tampa Tanners Back to School Bash. We still have space available. The Spanking Court is coming. There will be door prizes, catered dinners, vendor booths and plenty of play. If you haven't registered- do so now! You can visit our blog for more details-

http://tampatannersnews.blogspot.com/

Masquerade Party

2011-06-29T13:43:00.000-04:00

We started off Saturday with the Meet & Greet at TGIF's. It was great that Cookie got a sitter and Thomas was able to join us this time. We had a good mixture of new people and regulars attend. When Cookie and I were at the Munch this last week, there was a lady drinking Cotton Candy Cosmo's. Thomas would never agree to letting us drink one to ourselves, but he let us spilt it. We ended up splitting 4-ways, so we all had a shot of it. It did not taste like cotton candy. So, actually I am glad he made us split it because neither one of us liked it, and they ran $9.00.

It was also the day we celebrated my birthday at the Phoenix club. Getting ready was quite the feat. Thank goodness for Suzy to help with zippers and buckles. The thigh highs were also not so easy to get on. The video getting ready would have been hilarious, I am truly shocked Thomas slept through the whole ordeal.

Before we left Suzy and Todd gave me a present. It was a penis bottle. I poured my soda into it and sipped on it while we were getting ready. I was supposed to bring it to the club, but in the bustle of getting ready and hurrying to leave I forgot it in the room. Suzy playfully spanked me when I returned to the hotel room. It's nice to play with your girlfriends and it isn't serious. Just girls having fun.
Cookie & Thomas got me a huge basket filled with all kinds of goodies- I got a purple swede mask I can't wait to try out. The bath brush actually was nice. Thomas gave me my birthday swats with them.

The moment I walked into the Phoenix club I was in awe. I was almost speechless looking at all the spanking benches, medical table, and several wooden crosses. The Wizard of FL had prepared an Italian dinner that evening, and it was fantastic! I was able to cross many things I wanted to experience off my "bucket list." When I first got into this lifestyle, it was all about spanking. As I have gotten out of my box a little more, I've wanted to experience more things. The friends I have been lucky to meet have more than accommodated me. I received my first flogging by Sir L. He talked to me throughout the whole session. I had a wonderful back-up, I am not sure if I am allowed to use her name. She stood in front of me, and held my hands. After he finished I was brought a towel and water. I am not use to that. I guess some people go into such a subspace that they are unstable after a session. For me, it left me just wanting more. Maybe, after my next discipline session Thomas could have a warm blanket ready for me, and a chilled bottle of Smart water. *smiles*

I played with BM who used the bullwhip, and many sensual play items. I really liked the vampire gloves. The most exciting and scary part for me was the knife play. To lay so still as he ran the blade across my back was hard. He put pressure on the tip, but never drew blood. It was exhilarating! I also got to have another rope session with M. He is so wonderful with the rope. He always makes you feel so sexy in your own skin, and removing the rope- well, that is something I would much prefer to do in private. He also gave me a spanking, which, he kept in rhythm with the sound of the music. I convinced Cookie to do it too, and she looked beautiful. Suzy and another comrade joined in the fun as well.

Red Palmer was getting in on the fun and making the rounds spanking. I have never met someone that can spank so hard with their hand- Holy Mole!!

After the party a group of us went back to the room where I received my birthday spankings. They were not particularly easy or with the nicest implements. Suzy used a new implement called the "Timothy." It is a long piece of lexan I believe. The length of a ruler possibly. That thing stings! Then Red Palmer took his turn. I believe he used a small leather strap. Then Todd stepped up with "Satan." I wil tell you right now, very wicked implement. I still have three marks from the last stroke. It was funny, with each milestone birthday he would put a little oomph into the swat. Thomas finished up with the bath brush. He asked me how many innings were in a baseball game. He started counting backwards, so I technically got more swats. Have to love these inventive guys. We finally called it a night around 4 a.m., I could have not asked for a better night. The next morning we went to say to good-bye to Todd & Suzy. Cookie and I got a little play time in before we left. What a great way to end the weekend.

Cookie and Thomas got me a birthday cake. We never got around to cutting it, but the next morning when they dropped me off we spilt it in half.

I also received my new Spankopoly game. I will be doing a whole post on that. I am getting ready to leave on a ten day vacation to the West coast to visit family and friends. It will also be a working vacation as I need to tackle two storage units. One in California, and one in Oregon. The California one won't be to bad. The Oregon one, I have about 300 boxes to go through. When I return it is going to be hard, as Luke will be gone. He will have left for his new job. So, these next few days we will be spending a lot of quality time together.

August Party Flyer & Stuff

2011-06-08T12:09:00.002-04:00

Today was a really productive day for Cookie and myself. We received this flyer from the production company and jumped on the band wagon to get it posted in as many places as possible. This was another big step for me as most people have only seen my backside, but never my face. You might have seen it if you have watched any of my video's on spankingtube.com. We also set up a pay pal account today. You can hit the donate button and register for the parties, unless you are in a generous mood and just want to make a donation to the Tampa Tanners group. We have a few parties before the big event. We have the Spanking Masquerade party in Largo, which, is my birthday party too. Then we will be having a spanking party in July as well. More details will soon follow for that event. Whoever thought that one lunch date could generate so much fun. Cookie and I enjoy planning and organizing the events as we do throwing the parties themselves. It always interesting to see what costume Thomas will come up with since he is the official mascot for the Tampa Tanners.

Things at the homefront are in full gear. My son went to Oregon for the month to be with all his friends he grew up with that are graduating. My daughter leaves for her camp this weekend. Luke and I will spend some quality time alone for four days. Although, golf plans are in the works. I know this month is going to fly by and then he will be gone. He is really excited for this new position. I think he would be gone tomorrow if he could. The reason he stayed for the month of June is because my eldest son is graduating from OCS school. He will find out his assignment in a few days.

On the punishment side of the house, I have a session tomorrow. Things have not been so great with some stressful things happening lately. I have also been a little bit of a procrastinator lately as I have gotten a tad hooked on Fetlife. My phone is constantly beeping with updates, not only from Fetlife, but Facebook, e-mails and texts. My priorities have been taking a backseat, which, is not at all healthy for my backside. Hopefully, I can back on the right track soon. If not I'am sure Thomas will make sure that I do.

Play Time With Niko

2011-05-27T19:19:00.000-04:00

Last night Cookie, Shy and myself all took a road trip to go play with Niko. Anytime you can "play" with Niko is a lot of fun. He brought all his lovely evil implements that many of his gals have gotten to know on a first name basis over the years. He brought the big thud and the little thud, for those who are not familiar with those. Both have two thick strips of rubber attached to a hefty handle. It licks at your skin and is very painful. The larger one has a tendency of wrapping and catching your hip. He also brought the Canadian Prison strap- a very long, thick, leather strap, a smaller strap made for him by Pixie, definitely the nicest one out of the bunch, and wicked-wicked- a thick acrylic paddle. He gave us playful sessions where we laid two by two. In this picture above he had us all line up together. In the picture is Casey, Cookie, myself and Shy. He went down the line, and after each stroke we were to repeat, " We love Tampa Tanners!" If he felt you didn't say it with enough enthusiasm, you were double tapped a little harder. Whether, in play or punishment, Niko seems to only have one setting: HARD! He even took time to give us all stress relievers.

I have never really been video taped before with him, it was really hard to release those tears. Off camera I went one more round with him. We all had a really great time. It was like a mini-Tampa Tanner party.

This was probably the first time I have ever left Niko and actually felt like I could sit. Today, most the red is gone and just a few bruises remain. I'm not even really that sore. I have one spot on my hip where the thud wrapped around and caught me, that is a little sore. This last week we released some new info on the big event happening in August. Since the release we have had several people register. It is very exciting!

Attention All Spankos!!

On August 19-21 the Spanking Court will travel to beautiful Tampa, Fl for an amazing three day filming event. This is your chance to see the court and take part in a real case. In association with the Tampa Tanners huge event, the Spanking Court will bring the "Reality Show" fun to the party by filming live episodes to be shown on their exclusive membership site "The Spanking Court". You will meet all the celebrities from the show and you can even submit your case here for the chance to appear in the live filming. The Tampa Tanners are putting on the event and can be contacted for tickets. I recommend you get them now because this event will be sold out featuring top members of the spanking community like: Cali Cutie "World Famous LDD Woman with members all over the planet: Cookie Crawford, Niko, Katia Spade, Thomas Elder and many others as our list is still growing.

Open play in party rooms and a whole lot of chances for plenty of spanking fun. The chance to meet and play in a friendly non-threatening environment with other spanking enthusiasts!
Lots and Lots of spanking Fun!!

The hotel features a free airport shuttle from 5am-Midnight, free wireless high speed internet, free continental breakfast, free local calls, fitness center, business center and an outdoor pool, also an on the premises restaurant/bar, and is minutes away from many local attractions such as Busch Gardens, the Florida aquarium, and historic Ybor city. The Hotel accepts pets as well for a small fee.
Rooms are 79.00 per night with a discount for AAA members

So don't delay get your ticket now in advance before they are gone and take part in all the activities such as the live filming event for "The Spanking Court" and other activities like:
*Friday night pizza party
*Icebreaker game that includes a souvenir ruler to have signed and other
spanking games
*Vendor fair that includes a spanking booth to benefit the Lupus foundation of America, vendors fair with vendors from across the United States such as Paddles and panties, Birchwood Academy and many more. *Souvenir paddles made by Woodrage Paddles http://woodrage.com/

*Door prizes from sites such as paddle masters products, cane-iac, Paddles and panties and a list that is still growing.

*Live demonstrations such as how to's for caning, domestic discipline, spanking industry demos, rope work and more.

*Catered dinner on Saturday night
*Suite and room parties on Friday and Saturday nights
*A school themed party room for both nights and days
*The opportunity to meet many spanking celebs

To register please email us info@tampatanners.com

You can also visit our website at http://tampatanners.info

For more info on the Spanking Court Visit http://www.spankingcourt.com

For more info on Cali Cutie Visit http://www.spankingmscali.com

Many Changes Coming My Way

2011-05-21T18:03:00.002-04:00

Sorry it has been awhile since I have blogged. I have been so busy with life. This weekend, I have been able get away for my 'writers weekend'. It has been a long time since I have been able to do this. Tampa Tanners parties have been taking the place of these. I have had a blast and wouldn't change that. I look forward to my birthday Masquerade party in June that Cookie has put together. Also, as you've already noticed the huge three day event in August. Cookie has done an amazing job on our website, you can check it out at: tampa tanners.com.

As of July big changes will be happening for me. Luke has been given an assignment that will take him out of the country for 15 months. He has been on me to get my passport post hastily. I am not sure I will be visiting the country he is in, but will meet in the Bahama's, Mexico, or Europe for our rendezvous. As of May 26th, we will be married for 18 years, in those years I have spent many on my own. This one is a drop in the hat compared to my one 4-year separation. Through the years I have made binders of his love letters, e-mails, and post cards. It is a joke between us that I only let him go because he sends home great gifts from his many travels. I have amazing things from all over the world- simple things, such as, coral from the Black Sea, to a huge chest with gold inlay from Afghanistan, and many other beautiful things. It is amazing how time away usually bonds us closer. My hubby loves his job, and actually gets a little edgy and grumpy if home to long. I am not sure if he will extend given the opportunity, but we will play that hand when it comes.

I will be taking over the security in the community where I live. I haven't worked a real job since moving to Florida. Being an ex-cop it will be fun to be out among the people again. I don't have to wear any uniform or carry a weapon. We really don't have many problems other than keep those out that don't belong.

My youngest daughter is a competitive gymnast, and this next season has us traveling through many states, and Mexico. My son graduates high school in June. He is a really great kid and fun to be around. He has been holding down two jobs while going to school. He has informed me he wants to live with me until he is thirty. I guess I should stop doing his laundry and cooking good dinners. My other passion is gourmet cooking. I love to take a recipe and throw my own spin on it.

I actually got a nice stress reliever this last week. Due to the small blister that is still healing Thomas has been sadistic in having me write lines. I wouldn't exactly call them lines, it's more like freaking paragraphs. My latest assignment that he stole from Niko. I had to write: 'I will listen and do what I am told.' I have six colored pens and every letter had to be a different color and nothing in succession. I am at 100 lines, supposed do 200 lines, but I am putting my foot down and not doing anymore. I much rather have an ass beating than write one more line. It's extremely time consuming and tries ones patience.

I will try to pop in more and keep up. When Luke leaves I have to take on so much more. I am glad that most of our children are grown and on their own. When I had all five in the house, I don't think I ever rested. I am excited though about the change that's coming, it always keeps life interesting.

Back to School Bash

2011-05-10T17:22:00.000-04:00

We are ready for registration for the upcoming, "Back to School Bash"- August 19th-21st. We have started the process of promoting and things. Being a newly founded group, and this being our very first big party, we need to get the word out about it. We are looking for those interested in a table at the vendor fair, or models that would be interested in a special model meet & greet event at the party.

The Spanking Court will be there, and wer'e looking for interested spanko's to book shoots with. Please see their website at: http://www.spankingcourt.com/ for more information on that.

Birchwood Academy is also going to be there, and is looking for models to shoot with. More details about a special event they are planning to follow soon from Thomas himself.

Woodrage paddles is making special souvenir paddles for everyone that attends the party. A special discount code will also be attached so that you will get a discount on their products. We are still looking for more door prizes and things, but have some great things already donated as well.

You can find the registration forms on our yahoo site at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Tampatanners/ or you can email Cookie or myself at: info@tampatanners.com. Please send all forms and party fees to:
P.O. Box 764 Brandon Florida 33509. Please write all money orders or checks out to: Thomas Elders. Once we receive your registration and party fees, we will send you the hotel information so you can book your room for the event. The hotel rates are $79.00 per night and includes a free breakfast each morning. Register early so that you can reserve your room now! We have a hotel room block for our group.

Party fees are $75 single female, $140 for a couple, $90 for a single male. This includes your dinner for Friday and Saturday nights.

There are many more spanking activities we are planning but here is a list of the many we have gotten planned already http://fetlife.com/events/42936

*Spanking Court will be in attendance and will be taking cases please see their
website at http://www.spankingcourt.com/
*Friday night pizza party
*Icebreaker game, that includes a souvenir ruler to have signed and other
spanking games.
*Vendor fair that includes a spanking booth to benefit the Lupus foundation of
America, vendors fair with vendors from across the United States, such as Paddles
and panties, Birchwood Academy and many many more.
*Souvenir paddles made by Woodrage Paddles http://woodrage.com/
*Door prizes from sites such as Paddle Masters Products, Cane-iac, Paddles and
Panties and a list that is still growing.
*Demonstrations such as how to's for caning, domestic discipline, spanking
industry demos, rope work and more.
*Catered dinner on Saturday night
*Suite and room parties on Friday and Saturday nights
*A school themed party room for both days
*The opportunity to meet many spanking celebs such as: Cali-cutie, Mr. Kauffman,
Niko, Cookie Crawford, Katia Spade, and many others as our list is still growing.
Open play in party rooms and a whole lot of chances for plenty of spanking fun
and the chance to meet and play in a friendly non-threatening environment with
other spanking enthusiasts! Lots and Lots of spanking Fun!!

The hotel features a free airport shuttle from 5am-Midnight, free wireless high speed internet, free continental breakfast, free local calls, fitness center, business center and an outdoor pool, also an on premises a restaurant and bar. Local attractions such as Busch Gardens, the Florida Aquarium, and historic Ybor city. The hotel accepts pets for a small fee. Rooms are 79.00 per night with a discount for AAA members.

To register please email us info@tampatanners.com

You can also visit our website at http://tampatanners.info to see more
information and a gallery of pictures from previous smaller parties.
.
Let fetlife know your coming http://fetlife.com/events/42936

We look forward to a great party, and hope to get quite a few people out to Tampa, Florida that weekend. We need help promoting the event as well, so if you are a blogger, or have access to websites to get the word out please don't hesitate to promote.

Thanks. :)

The Verdict

2011-05-02T14:48:00.000-04:00

This picture was on the wall of the walk-in emergent care place I went to. I looked at it wishing I could climb in the boat and row away to one of the islands.

When this gorgeous looking muscular man picked up my chart calling my name, I was hoping he wasn't the doctor. In the explanation to what was wrong, I had put down that I had a blood blister that wouldn't heal, possibly infected. I didn't put where it was located, or how I obtained it. He did the normal triage stuff when he came into the room. My blood pressure was so high, because I was so nervous. The dreaded question came,"Where is the blister located? I replied, " My dupa and pointed." He asked me how it happened, and I started to stutter. I don't normally, but I couldn't find the right words. He tried to convince me because he was a paramedic he'd seen everything. I told him I was an ex-cop and so have I. I told him I would rather just wait and explain to the doctor.

While I was sitting there I was going through all kinds of explanations in my head. Thomas just wanted me to tell them I get spanked. I'm thinking not! The doctor walks in and she definitely looks like a goody-two-shoes. She exams it and determines that it isn't infected. Yay!!! I was told I need to get band-aids with the anti-biotics and some other bandage that acts like a second skin. It is healing pretty quick. I doubt it will ever truly go away.

When she asked how I got the bruises and the blister, I told her I write adult fiction and I was doing some research. She apparently thought that was cool and didn't ask anymore questions other than about my books.

I am still on restriction, and starting to get a very foul attitude about it. I just want to meet for a session and have a clean slate. The lines are a major pain in my ass! A few of us are getting together for Thomas's birthday this weekend, I'm hoping after this weekend things can be back to normal.

Restrictions

2011-04-28T11:58:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I had a session with Thomas. We had to stop the session, which was not good since I have debt. I have this one little spot that is being very stubborn about healing. I am going to finally give in and have it looked at. It will probably be one of the most embarrassing things I have ever had to do. Lucky for me, I don't have a regular doctor, so I am just going to one of those walk in emergent care places.

Instead, my session took a whole different turn. He applied Capsazin and gave a pretty good hand spanking, including thighs. He stated since I am not going to be able to be spanked like I should, he would be modifying things with restrictions. First, not being able to remove the Capsazin for two days.

Another was lines- another thing I despise! It is hard to do lines with a family. It doesn't leave a lot of time to devote, but since he removed pretty much any other distraction it will leave a little more. I have 200 a day, which, I think is setting me up to fail daily. I am to write: " I will strive to follow my rules, and will accept whatever punishment earned if I fail to do so." Each sentence is three lines and only nine per page... ugh! I still have a punishment of 125 with the cane for failure to complete my last line assignment on time.

I have limited computer time. I am allowed to blog, but not allowed to read anyone else's or comment. So, I guess I will be disappearing for awhile. I may check my e-mail too.

He is also limiting my texting, which, for me that is my lifeline to all my friends. I am also receiving an earlier bedtime when my regular family duties don't keep me from this. This is not going to be a shocker for my family since, I am a diet that has left me pretty exhausted. I will write more on that later.

The thing with restrictions is it is really based on the honor system. He is not here with me, watching my every move to see if I am complying. I still have to be accountable by checking in with him, asking for permission with certain things. When we are together, if he asks if I am doing what is expected of me, I want to say, "yes." The one thing about me, is I can't lie. I could, but my expressions would give me away in a heartbeat.

Hopefully, this isn't going to last a long time. I am hoping that whatever is wrong with that little spot can be fixed quickly.

Review on Bondage Rope

2011-04-25T14:40:00.000-04:00

I was sent a product from Eden Fantasys to review, they carry adult sex toys and bondage toys. The product that was sent was a Japanese bondage rope. I liked the packaging, the bright red color, and that it had a card with simple knots that you could try. I have just become interested in bondage, so I couldn't wait to try it out. I had a discipline session with Thomas, so I asked if he wouldn't mind doing something simple with it since he usually works with much more length.

It was smooth to the skin, and Thomas said it was pretty easy to work with. As he was tying the top part, I was comfortable for the most part, but when he ran it through my legs, I think Thomas enjoyed watching me stand on my tip toes. Since, I was already tied up, it made it easy to bind my hands for the session.

I was extremely sore from our party, and this session was not easy. I fought hard to free my hands, the rope didn't cut in or leave marks, but Thomas did a good job of leaving his own marks.

Tampa Tanners Spanking Showers Party

2011-04-20T20:00:00.000-04:00

Last Friday, started the ball rolling for Cookie and I.
I always meet her to get the party favors together, bake, and make candy. We always have a blast. When we were making our butt pops this time, Niko requested we make dark chocolate ones for him, so we weren't discriminating. *laughs* Personally, he just likes dark chocolate.

We ended up making light tan ones-(peanut butter) and dark chocolate ones. After putting all the baskets together and finishing the candy, we baked the cookies. Cookie added an extra ingredient, but they still came out okay. We made a special one for Thomas, but my blogger is being stubborn and won't rotate the picture.

Our meet & greet went fantastic and we had a really good turnout. Our group seems to be growing each and every time. After we met at the hotel for a pre-party with Todd & Suzy from A.S.S. and Jean. Thomas got Spankopoly as an early present for his birthday coming up next month. Cookie has some pictures on her blog. Thomas was tired, so Todd ended up being the only top. The game took a little twist when Cookie spanked me- my first ever girl spanking, I spanked Cookie, and we both spanked Suzi. Of course, Todd was there to document it all. As you can see by the video we are not experts at this, nor do I care to be. It was all just in fun.

You can see the other video's on Cookie's blog or spankingtube.com .
We got up early the next day to decorate the ballroom.

The walls were decorated in the Easter theme, and we had a few Easter streamers hanging from the chandelier. Thomas has been the mascot for our parties. Last time, he was the, "Spanking Leprechaun." This time he was the, "Spanking Bunny." I am always up for some playtime over his lap.

We had about twenty-three people this time, so there was plenty of tops and bottoms to go around. Cookie and I came up with a game where you drew an egg, inside the egg was a determined number of swats, the implement to be used, and you could chose your spanker/spankee. It was a lot of fun. Cookie had coupons for her birthday spanking. Suzy altered a few of them, so I was thrown into the mix. Someone, I won't name names, kept his and was trying to collect twice. She did make one for me, I never got to collect on it.

Maybe next time, Thomas. Niko was also there and he brought his new "Thud" to the party. Oh, is it wicked! All the girls but a few sampled it.

I went and had a private session with Niko. It has been a long time. It was a stress buster of sorts. He used the Canadian prison strap and the new thud. I forgot how brutal both those could be and came back with a very marked dupa. It didn't stop me, because I continued to play. Todd gave me a very nice hand spanking/ massage, as did Thomas to end the night. Although, three days later, I am still very sore and very bruised. Thanks Niko!

I am looking forward to all the parties to come. This next month is Thomas's private birthday party, but I am sure we will have some good stories and pictures.

Renaissance Fair

2011-04-14T10:41:00.001-04:00

This last weekend Cookie, Thomas, myself, and our kids went to the Ren fair. Although, it was a vanilla outing, there was plenty of adult themes to keep a smile on my face. As a spanko and being with spanko friends we were drawn by the leather shops that sold flogger's and bulls whips. Thomas even teased me that I was salivating. Had there not been kids, Cookie and I would have signed up to be bound to the whipping post to try out a flogger or two. There were signatures all over the post, I am sure from all the victims it claimed.

It was a fun day shopping craft booths, watching shows that were adult themed, and just hanging out having a good time. This was my first time attending something like this, and I would love to go next year. It felt like you stepped back in time with all the people dressed in old attire, and referring to us as, "lords and ladies" when you passed them. We found a great chinese puzzle involving chains for the next Tampa Tanner party. Cookie and I need to practice, so we have the solution down pat.

Speaking of Tampa Tanners, we have a meet and greet this Saturday at TGIF on Fowler from 1-4. It is also the weekend for the "Spanking Showers" party, which, is also Cookie's birthday celebration. If you are in the area come see us, we even have a few spots left for the party. I wonder if we could borrow this?

Corner Time

2011-04-06T20:51:00.000-04:00

The first picture is my idea of corner time. Not having to stand in the corner after a spanking and reflect. I do not take corner time well at all. In fact, I usually get spanked more to stay there. Just wondering does anyone else struggle with corner time?

Tuesday evening, I met with Thomas for a session. It started off with being videoed for reporting a spanking I felt was unjust to the SSU. Thomas had spanked me last time for my daughter's language. She used the word, "pissed." In my eyes, this is not a cuss word. I am held accountable to him for my language, it's something I asked for from the beginning. I was told that I would be receiving 20 swats for reporting, and 5 swats for each guilty vote, which, there were ten. So, I had 70 total swats in all. Now, when the video camera is running and he is holding a wooden paddle, I'm not in any position to argue my case. I did think it was unfair, and still do. Wouldn't you all agree?

After the video I had a quite the punishment session. Language and attitude are usually dealt with the "Thomas" strap. It is nasty, and gets the point across quickly. Although, he did not have it with him this time, so he chose a large polyurethane paddle. Okay, if I had my pick, I would definitely chose leather over that paddle. I don't bruise easily, but I do with this implement. After the punishment, he told me to go to the corner. I was arguing about the corner, so I was escorted over to it by him pulling me by the top of my ear. Once there, I still did not want to stand there quietly and reflect. I had a really rough session, and I was not in the right frame of mind. I told him I'd rather take more with the paddle than stand there. Crazy....I know. His requirement was I take them on the thighs. I really thought he wouldn't be so hard on me since this is a more sensitive area. I was so wrong! He took it as a challenge of his authority. He did offer several times the chance to go back to the corner. I became determined that I was not going to back down. After he was finished, I will admit I may think about corner time with a different attitude next time. In addition, since I used language after my punishment, he assigned 500 lines. I get to write, "I will keep my language civil for myself and others." I only have until Saturday, which, I hope I can get done. Needless to say, this session was tough and I learned that I may get my way, but severe consequences are attached.

Our First Party

2011-04-01T15:03:00.002-04:00

This last Sunday was Tampa Tanners first party, and it was terrific. I'm sorry so late in posting this. Cookie and I spent that previous Friday baking cupcakes and candy. You can see the pics on Cookie or Thomas's posts. We got there in plenty of time to decorate. It turned out very festive.

Thomas brought in his spanking bench. Which, I have to either stand on my tip toes, where heels, or jump up. It is a handy piece though at a party.

Then we got to have our turn with the Shamrock guy, aka Thomas. I still have to wear a small band aid. I have this one spot that just won't heal from my last caning. We had a contest who could spank the best shamrock. Suzy won. I think Cookie was a close second though. The picture does not do justice just how red she was.

Thomas came up with his own spanking game with a few deck of cards, and it was very creative. All the bottoms were given queens, and the tops, kings. Each implement had a card attached. So you drew one card to see which implement you got, one card to see which top would be spanking, and two cards for the number of swats. Luckily, I was picked only once during the whole game. It was still fun to watch. Todd & Suzy brought Spankopoly. This is always fun at a party. I was not so lucky in this game. It seemed like every time my partner rolled, I got spanked. I can't wait for the April Showers party on the 17th. It's also Cookie's birthday party, so sign up, and come give Cookie her birthday spanking.

Tampa Tanners Meet & Greet/ First party

2011-03-23T08:42:00.000-04:00

Tampa Tanners will be meeting this weekend at Perkins on Fowler, if you are in the area from 2-5p.m. It is a great time to come out to socialize and meet some like-minded people.

Sunday, will be our first Tampa Tanners party. The Spanking Shamrock party still has a few spots open. The party is located in Tampa, from 4-10. If you are interested, you can contact Cookie or myself. Cookie and I have been having a great time putting this event together.

I will be sure to blog after this weekend to share all the good times that took place.

A Day of First's

2011-03-16T10:10:00.002-04:00

I have been wanting to get on here and post for days. Unfortunately, life got in the way. Last weekend, was so much fun. Cookie and I got together and attended a few meet and greets. The first we attended was the Tampa Ties group. They are a group that is into roping. I am not even sure if that is the correct term. I have always been fascinated by this. I think the knots they tie are beautiful, I could sit and watch them do this all day. I did have the opportunity to get bound myself at the meeting. I would include a picture, but my blog is not cooperating. If you are interested in this type of thing, definitely check this group out. The next meet and greet we attended was Edwin's munch from the Fetish Circuit. It's always nice to see Edwin and make some new acquaintances.

That evening I attended my first Fetish Circuit with Cookie and Thomas. Cookie and I had a blast checking out everything that was going on. We first checked out a guy that had the violet wand. He had all sorts of attachments. Who would have thought I would want to try anything that had to do with electricity. I got shocked pretty bad as a child a few times... my own stupidity. Partly, it felt sensual, but at the same time I couldn't figure out if I liked it, or if it hurt. I know Cookie really like it. Afterwards, it burned in a few places, and in certain places it felt like I brushed against stinging needles. Would I try it again...absolutely.

That night was the St. Paddy's parade in Ybor. This was also my first parade I have attended since coming to Florida. We had a great view from a balcony above the street. I came home with so many beads, my daughter was very happy.

I also had another chance to be roped. This time I had to step way out of my comfort zone. I was fitted in a rope dress, which, meant removing everything except for my panties, stockings, and shoes. Marcelus duct taped certain areas of my breasts. Okay, writing this I am blushing. It was beautiful, and I walked around for a couple hours like that. Removing the ropes...that is a story in the making.

I have been receiving quite a few e-mails lately with guys asking if we have any female tops in Tampa Tanners, or if I would be willing to become a switch. I have been kicking the idea around, but at this time I don't think it will happen. Could I spank a guy playfully, as in a few swats? Yes. On a serious note, no. I did, however, practice on Cookie that night. We received some beautiful paddles from Cane-iac with our logo's on them. It is hard to spank a friend, because I kept worrying I would spank too hard. *laughs* I have to say I enjoy being a bottom for now, who know what the future will bring. I'm afraid with my already dominant personality it could get me in some deep trouble with attitude.

Speaking of Tampa Tanners... We have our meet and greet on March 26th at Perkins on Fowler. On the 27th will be the Spanking Shamrock Party. We still have nine spots left. If you are interested you can contact myself or Cookie.

Tampa Tanners Video

2011-03-07T16:05:00.010-05:00

This is a video Cookie put together to introduce the Tampa Tanners group. It is also my first time putting my face out on the web. I am really excited about this group. It is already growing so fast. We are looking forward to our first party, Spanking Shamrocks on March 27th. If you are interested in joining in the fun register now, it's filling up quickly.

You can check us out on our blog: tampatanners.info or our yahoo site: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Tampatanners/

Today Cookie and I had a great time looking for the venue in August. We are pretty sure we found even a better location, with more affordable hotel rooms and great amenities. We are keeping our fingers crossed since the last place fell through. Today, when we met the sales manager, I told him we are a social organization. Once we saw what they had to offer, and it would meet our needs, I then informed him we are a spanking organization. He didn't seem to shocked and even made a few jokes. That was until I invited him to come and then he turned three shades of red. It was great! Speaking of a few shades of red...Cookie decided on some hot wings for lunch, and they were much hotter than she anticipated. Poor girl was hurtin'. I ordered the mild wings and they were delicious. Cookie, Thomas, and I will be making the rounds to a few other organizations monthly meetings this weekend. We are also hoping to hit the Fetish Circuit on Saturday night, we are just trying to iron out a few kinks.

Spanking's Galore!

2011-03-01T08:58:00.017-05:00

This last week was filled with lots of spanking, some playful, and some not so playful. My week started by getting together with Cookie and Thomas to film a promo video for the Tampa Tanners Back to School Bash in August. Thomas also took this time to film a few video's for the Birchwood Academy clip store. This was a huge step for me, because I'm finally showing all of me and not just my backside. I have built a really good relationship with both Cookie and Thomas and felt comfortable doing these video's. Cookie and I had so much fun making the promo video, we spent a lot of time doing retakes, because we couldn't stop laughing. The other video's we did were more on a serious tone, but I still had fun. Anytime, I am being spanked "playfully" with no punishment undertone is good.

Then Saturday was Tampa Tanners first meet and greet. It was successful and we had a good turn out. It was nice seeing some familiar faces and meet some new ones too. We had a decent show considering there were many other events happening at the same time as ours. Afterwards, we had a private party with Todd and Suzy from American Spanking Society & SSU. We played spankopoly, which is like monopoly, except you get spanked. I was the first to get spanked, but I won the game. Later that evening, Suzy, Jean, Cookie, and myself laid in a row across the bed, as Todd and Thomas got to try every implement they own, giving us each one swat. I also paid my debt to Todd for my lost bet during Fantasy Football.

Early Sunday morning came time to pay my debt to Thomas. As you know I have had issues with purging. I have been doing really well, but I had a back debt to be paid. Basically, it ended up to be 100 strokes with the cane for every time I did it. I owed him for five hundred strokes. I decided to let him video. If I know that camera is rolling, I am going to try and suck it up. Stupid, as it may sound, I don't want to appear a wimp. With all the play from the last several days, after 200 strokes I kept tearing, and even with all the liquid skin he was applying it wasn't helping. Thomas decided it was enough. It left me with a debt, but I had to go with his judgement. I did, however, take one more semi-punishment that morning. A friend of mine was going to get in trouble with the bath brush. I know how much she hates it, so I offered to take double what she got to give her some relief. I ended up with 100 strokes. I asked Thomas if we could video it for Cookie's store. All of Cookie's clips that she sells in going to help build our Tampa Tanners parties. So... if you want to show support for Tampa Tanners, check out Cookie's clips. :)

Todd & Suzy's and Thomas & Cookie's blogs all have great pictures from this weekend. I am really looking forward to our future parties.

Last night, was my weekly session to meet Thomas. I had 300 strokes of the cane left on my debt for purging. Any debt for language, diet, attitude, or whatever was put on hold, so I could be free and clear from the debt at hand. I have had time since this weekend to really see where my weakness was coming from concerning this. I have pinpointed it, and now I can work really hard not to put myself in the predicament that makes me feel that need. After 500 strokes, believe me I am going to think really hard. My dupa is a mess right now, it is going to take some time to heal. I was telling Thomas, it had it's own pulse last night. Even though the punishment was harsh, Thomas took the time to talk me through it. Stopping if need be to deal with rips or tears. Afterwards, we had a good talk and touched on other subjects that had me smiling and laughing before the session was over.

Random

2011-02-19T09:21:00.005-05:00

This last week Cookie and I had a chance to meet Edwin from the Fetish Circuit. He took the time to give us ideas and drop names of people to see or places to check out. He is a really funny person at times. Cookie got some food that did not resemble what she ordered at all. Edwin called the manager over and called him on it. We ended up getting thirty percent off our bill. When he was talking to the manager, I had to keep my head down so I didn't start laughing. The time was well spent and we came away with some great information. Cookie and I would also like to check out some of the other parties going on in the area. I can be shy at times, so I may just be a bystander.

That evening I had chosen to ride my scooter to Cookie's house. It is about a 30 t0 45 minute ride for me. I am supposed to ask permission when I ride, because of some problems I have had in the past. Not only do I have to ask permission, I have to say where I am going, when I leave and when I return. I did ask permission and got the okay. I didn't say where I was going because I knew I would be coming home pretty late. Some of the areas I have to go through can be kind of sketchy at night. Needless to say, when Thomas got there I was reamed for failure to say exactly where I was going. I did have a great ride home that evening. I love riding at night because there is barely any traffic. It was so quiet, I just got to get lost in my thoughts. I am sure I will be paying in the near future for failure to fully disclose where I was traveling to.

Yesterday, I sat down with my son who helped me set up a domain name for Tampa Tanners. He will also be helping us get our web page together. I love that I have a son who is a computer genius. I am looking forward to this next weekend where we will be having our first meet and greet. If you are in the Tampa area, we will be meeting at Perkins on Fowler, from 2 to 5 p.m. We will also be attending a small party afterwards, so I am also looking forward to some playtime.

I have done really well with my purging issue. I am going on week two and have been able to fight off my urges. I did have a few days of struggling, since the place I go to for my diet support changed things up on me again. I was pretty frustrated the first day, but made it through the first week and lost four pounds. The restrictions they placed are tough for me, so I will see how long my willpower holds out.

Two Day In A Row

2011-02-16T07:45:00.003-05:00

The last few days my dupa has been getting a lot of attention. Valentine's Day I met Niko to return a jacket he had left in my car. Being as it was Valentine's day I was able to coax him into a GG spanking. The thing with Niko is even his playful spankings can leave you cringing. He had just gotten a new lexan paddle, which is known by people who have been spanked by him as, 'wicked wicked.' He had also oiled in Canadian prison strap, so he wanted to test this out. I was thinking to myself, this is a GG? He had me even more worried when he was trying to figure out what year Valentine's day originated. I was not about to take that many swats. He decided to give me fourteen with each implement. He began over my pants, then with just my panties, and then bare skin. When he went to remove my panties, I had one small spot that had torn. He stuck a band-aid on, some lotion, and switched to just using the lexan. I tried to convince him that I had received plenty and we didn't need to continue, but he was going to finish it out. It seemed like the last fourteen got progressively harder, and by the last one I was holding my breath. I could see from the corner of my eye his hand raised high and I was bracing for the last swat. When he brought the paddle down he barely tapped me and wished me a Happy Valentine's day.

Yesterday was my day to meet Thomas. The day started out great with Cookie and I working on Tampa Tanners projects and going to lunch. I wish the evening could have ended on such a sweet note. I rode my scooter again without my helmet and had some language issues. I had one more spanking to take- last week, I was trying to keep Misty from getting a spanking. I offered to take double of what she was getting. I know how much she hates the bath brush. She still received fifty strokes, which meant I was due a hundred strokes. Thomas decided to deal with the purging issue later since I had been doing really well. He brought two very nasty implements- the Thomas strap and the small polyurethane paddle. It was a long session and left quite an impression. Is it enough to make me want to wear my helmet all the time...we will see. I struggle with this because I respect him and his rules, but this is one thing I don't agree with. I wear it for the most part, but there are times I don't feel like it. Since Thomas had forgot the bath brush, I took the 100 strokes with the polyurethane paddle- OUCH!!! I left the band-aid on from the previous night hoping to deter him from that spot, not a chance. I just hope it has a chance to heal before we meet again.

Munch

2011-02-13T08:22:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I attended my first munch with Cookie and Thomas. Walking through the doors my heart was beating out of my chest. I had no idea what to expect. I knew there wouldn't be any spanking, or some bizarre fetish thing taking place in some dark corner, it was just nerves.

I have only been to one spanking party, so this was going to be my second time meeting others with like-minded interests. It's funny how you can stereotype what type of people you would expect to see. I will say there were some big boys there with some very large hands. Yes, I looked...I am a spanko.

At certain points, I just sat there listening to all the conversations that were taking place in the room. I was amazed to hear the things being said, as most of the time this lifestyle is not so openly discussed in a public place. The waitress was great and I could hear her interjecting occasionally on a conversation.

It didn't take to long and I got the nerve to converse with others. It was good for Cookie and I to go to this to network ourselves and our new venture Tampa Tanners. Since, in just a few weeks we will be having our own meet and greet. Everybody there was very friendly and I enjoyed the conversations I had. I was able to speak with one gentleman who gave me a lot of good information, and how to better market ourselves.

Yesterday, was also good as an eye opener to what is going on outside my little spanking circle. I am curious about other things and plan on attending some other events. Being a writer, I need to get out of my comfort zone to write on different subjects. I may not be brave enough to participate the first time, but I am sure what I take in from the night will stir the creative juices enough to come up with some good stories.

I apologize I haven't been blogging much. Life has been crazy in general. My daughter started competition season for gymnastics and we are traveling every weekend. I am proud to say her first meet she qualified for State! I meet with Thomas this week for a session, unfortunately, not a play one. I have been doing really well with my purging issue. It has happened less and less since I last wrote. When I made that promise to Thomas, I have tried extremely hard not to break it. I will continue to keep you updated on my progress.

Tampa Tanners First Meet and Greet

2011-02-07T13:45:00.003-05:00

This last week was exciting to see the interest in the group and watch it grow. It seemed my phone was constantly chiming with e-mails. Many from Cookie whose enthusiasm was very catchy. We have decided on our first date for the meet and greet.

This morning we were sending e-mails and idea's back and forth. I was responding and trying to dry my hair at the same time. One e-mail I sent I was joking about Thomas, and accidentally sent to the whole group instead of Cookie. Immediately, panic set in, and as Murphy's law would have it my server went down. Even though I deleted the message, Thomas still got to read it. That will teach me to multi-task.

Meet and Greet

February 26, 2011
@ Perkins

5002 Fowler Ave, Tampa Fl

2pm – 5pm

Tampa Tanners invites all spankos to attend our very first meet and greet. The meet and greets are a great way to get to know other local spanking enthusiasts in the area in a friendly non-threatening setting, and to meet the Tampa Tanners leaders. We will also discuss options and suggestions for future events and parties. Please remember that it is held at a local family restaurant where kids and vanilla families will also be present, so please dress accordingly. We will be meeting in the back room, so tell the hostess when you arrive that you are with the Tampa Tanners group (They do not know that we are a spanking group). There is no charge to attend the meet and greet, however, we ask that you tip the server generously for their time.

Habits Are Hard To Break

2011-02-05T19:10:00.004-05:00

Last night I met with Thomas for a session. One I was dreading because I asked for his help on an issue I have been dealing with for quite some time. With his help meant if I didn't follow through I was going to experience a pretty intense caning. I have had this bad habit for some time, and what I realized today that habits aren't so easy to break. I will say one thing, when someone else believes in you, and you screw up, guilt really sets in.

I have been dieting on a program for some time. I do really well and have been having success. I generally lose every week I weigh-in. I am not pulling Biggest Loser numbers, but I am losing. When I do something I want to stay true to the course and not stray.

There are times when I haven't stayed the course and I started purging. If I ate something I felt guilty for... I purged. I am not binging. Lately, though, it wasn't just every now and then, it was becoming daily and sometimes more than once.

I kept telling Thomas I could do this on my own. That is when he was giving the friendly reminders. Spankings that got my attention, but weren't necessarily discipline. Finally, I realized I wasn't handling it so great on my own. So last night I received my first caning, I say first, because I already screwed up today.

The spanking was difficult to take. Not just the pain of the spanking, but he was having me repeat over and over, "I will stop purging." I struggled many times, because it is very difficult to say something you don't believe. I felt like I was lying repeatedly.

Today, when I purged I immediately was trying to talk my way out of another caning. Which, knowing Thomas fell on deaf ears. I have learned if he says something, he is not changing his mind. After it happened I really started to feel guilty, which, for me was a first. I started thinking about our talk and the options he came up with to help me when I feel the urge. I did something I never do- I made a promise to him. I have never have promised anything in the past because I don't like to disappoint people.

I promised I was going to seriously try and correct this. I know it's not going to be easy, because it truly has become second nature for me. I may be caned a few more times for slipping up, but I decided today I am going to stop. I realize the dangers that can come with this.

Deciding to post this was a really difficult decision for me. I feel shame and guilt, but at the same time I feel frustration and sadness. This is one habit that is truly going to be one day at a time.

Tampa Tanners

2011-02-02T21:35:00.006-05:00

Today was a very productive lunch with Cookie. We went shopping for Thomas' birthday party. It was fun going through the Dollar store looking for spanking related objects. A few items I had to try on Cookie just to see if they were worthy. *giggles* I think the cashier realized when he rang up 10 hairbrushes this wasn't a child's party. He even commented about them being wood. After shopping we enjoyed a nice lunch together before we went shopping for a hotel to have Thomas' party. We ended up finding a hotel where the manager was very open to the adult party. In fact, she was willing to hold rooms so we could have the privacy without other occupants being bothered.

Upon some further brainstorming between Cookie and I, we talked about how great it would be to have spanking parties more often. That's when we came up with the idea of starting our own group. We called Luke and Thomas and got their approval's. Then we came up with the name Tampa Tanners. I googled it to make sure there were no other businesses in the area with that name.

We are excited about this and will be working hard to have our first party sometime in August. We would love to have you join the group. If you are in the Tampa area or just interested in spanking, you can join by clicking the link here for Tampa Tanners.

Update

2011-02-01T16:51:00.003-05:00

I had a post on here earlier and deleted it. Because in 24 hrs everything has changed, and for the better. My husband left his current position last night and is already working in a new one today. I am lucky that he has quite the reputation and was picked back up immediately. I am even happier he isn't going overseas and the position is local.

I have been a bit stressed over this last week. I am one who masks it to everyone I come in contact with, while letting it rip me up internally. I feel like I have to be the strong one and not let my guard down. I think last night was the first time my husband saw me pretty down. I do the same in a punishment, I really struggle letting me emotions go. I am getting better though.

Tomorrow will be a fun day. I am getting together with Cookie for a "girls" day. We will not be doing a play session tomorrow. Unfortunately, I have a pretty hefty punishment on the books and Thomas is not going to let me have another play date until the debt is cleared.

I have been struggling for awhile with this problem. It was a habit for a good long time and hasn't been easy to break. Thomas would spank as more of an encouragement to quit. They weren't to hard handed, but enough to get my attention. When I realized I was not going to be able to really do this on my own, I asked for his help. He gave me a couple chances to rectify the problem, but I haven't been able to. I am still having a hard time sharing about this, but maybe in time I can.

I have really wanted to catch up on some writing, but haven't had a lot of opportunity lately. My daughter is in competition season for gymnastics, so I don't think I will get away this month unless it is the very last week. It is an exciting year for her as she is now in optionals. For those who don't follow gymnastics. She is no longer compulsory, she has her own floor and beam routine. The vault and bars are the same for her level. We will be traveling to Orlando many times over the next two months. She is excited because this is the first season Luke will be able to watch her. Every season he has been overseas.

I do have a book and a short story done, I just need to make a few changes. I am also going to try really hard to participate in Flash Fiction Friday on my Katia's Writing's blog.

It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Hurt

2011-01-28T13:05:00.007-05:00

Yesterday, Cookie and I had the opportunity to have lunch and meet Thomas for a play session. It has been awhile since our last time. On the way over to our spanking destination Thomas was in the backseat. I had the windows cracked for ventilation, because at 65 degrees it's still not real warm here. Besides, Thomas doesn't like the cold. I am usually cranking the heater in my car. He asked me to put the windows up. I told him to say please. Instead, he said a few choice words. So, I rolled both windows down and put the child lock on so he couldn't roll them up. I kept telling him all he has to do is say please. I will state now he is very stubborn. It was getting chilly up front, so I put on the seat butt warmers and turned up the heat for Cookie and I. When we got to where we were playing. I finally unlocked his windows. Immediately he came to my side, pinned me to the car, and smacked the heck out of my thighs. We were in a residential area and there were workers down the street. If they didn't see, they definitely heard. I knew at that moment I would get even.

We had a good time in the session. Cookie brought a three piece wood paddle set. One was long and slender like a ruler, the other two were rectangular paddles. They reminded me of something a school master would use. We even took a few to the thighs, that wasn't so fun.

On the way back, Thomas was in the back seat again. As soon as we were on the road, I put his window down. A few threats came from the back of what would happen if I didn't roll up the window. Cookie and I were laughing... until he really got mad. I rolled up the windows and put on the heat. Unfortunately, I pushed a little too far. When I came to pick him up that evening we made a stop before going home. I received a very intense session with a hair brush. I think I have learned trying to get even with Thomas is hazardous to my backside.

You'd Think....

2011-01-25T09:03:00.006-05:00

It seems like lately I have been spending a lot of time in the back seat of my car. Almost everyday last week, and already this morning. I even got spanked last week as a reminder to behave...what the heck! That doesn't count the numerous times I have had my hand slapped and my thighs. You would think that I would just take Thomas to work and not speak unless spoken to.

The one good thing is I don't have punishments hanging over my head. When something happens it is dealt with, but this morning's spanking I was told on the way home yesterday would happen today. So, it wasn't those immediate butterflies, I had to stew about it last night. I knew it was going to be serious. Having my dupa bruised first thing in the morning is not how I generally like to start my day.

I've had a secret I have been dealing with for some time. I am not quite ready to share. I've shared with just a few close people, one being Thomas. I also asked him not to blog about it. The hard thing is I knew there were going to be consequences. I am going to deal with it, but it will be a struggle. I have a feeling this won't be our last time dealing with it. Maybe, in time I can share more.

Thursday will be the last time I take him to work, so I will probably go back to weekly maintenances. Although, I think my internal time clock will still continue to wake up at five-thirty for awhile. I have been waking up automatically without my alarm. I am hoping the next spanking I get will be a GG with Cookie. It has been a long time since we have gotten together to do that. I did see Cookie just recently. We spent a girls day shopping and had lunch. We found some really cute panties, and she bought some cute stiletto's. What else would spanko's shop for?

On my last weekend away, Thomas videoed my lost bet for Fantasy Football. You can see it on his blog or on spankingtube. I generally do not show myself, except for the few pictures I have let Thomas take. I am trying to get braver to do more video's. I still owe Todd from American Spanking Society for a lost bet too. Cookie lost to him also, so maybe we can take our dues side by side.

One Of Those Embarrassing Times

2011-01-19T14:23:00.002-05:00

I have been taking Thomas to and from work since his car broke down last week. When you spend as much time in the car together as we have, you are bound to screw up. Like losing my cool, and saying a few choice words at stupid drivers. Over the last few days, he has been smacking the tops of my hands or my thighs. Yesterday, I thought I would give a little pay back. He usually lays back and snoozes part of the way there and on the way home. So, I stuck my paddle hairbrush where I could reach it once he shut his eyes. I could have really smacked him hard, but part me thought better. I reached over and smacked him hard enough to gain his attention, but not so hard I would regret it later. As he opened his eyes, I pointed the hair brush at him and told him I could have really nailed him. Okay, the smart thing would have been hit him and put the hair brush back where I grabbed it from. Instead, he snatched it very quickly out of my hands. You know how you get the instant butterflies? I knew it would be only a matter of time and he would strike back.

As we had turned down the short cut to his house, he reached over and smacked the top of my right thigh smartly several times. Hard enough it took my breath away. I thought to myself...game on! I pulled the car over and put it in park. Undid my seat belt, and tried to wrestle the hair brush from his hands. It didn't take long, until he had me face down, tucked between his legs where he proceeded to smack the back of my thighs and dupa. Before I sat up he said,"Make sure to wave to the little girl who just saw you get spanked." As I sat up, I noticed there were several kids staring in our direction. I had parked in front of an after school daycare center. When I had pulled over, I didn't take in my surroundings because the pain and revenge was clouding my brain. I was so embarrassed. I didn't even put on my seat belt, I just put in drive and drove away. I wonder if any of those kids told what they saw at school today?

Hidden Message

2011-01-16T19:23:00.008-05:00

A couple weeks ago my son bought this for his hair. It wasn't the right product, and it smelled nasty. He wanted to return the product, and as it was sitting on the counter I noticed one word that caught my eye, "discipline." He laughed, because the rest was written in French. As I turned the box around, the other side was written in English. It says, "Discipline for heavyweights, but not overwhelming for the finer types." For us spanko's we see the statement in a whole different light. It made me smile.

Research Can Lead To A Sore Dupa

2011-01-13T09:03:00.007-05:00

I have wanted to come and update my blog, but things have been very busy here. Luke is getting ready to make his first trip overseas this month. It is only eight days this time. I have also been taking Thomas to work everyday since his car broke down, which, is two hours there and two hours back. It's not so much the distance, it's the dang traffic and the stupid drivers. The one thing about driving together is I'm racking up some strikes when I cuss at the dumb drivers. I will have to say, this is the most time we have spent together and I haven't gotten spanked. My time is coming. I have a gyn appointment this next week, and I refuse to go in with a bruised backside.

I still have remnants of his handiwork from my weekend away. It was a great time, and I did finish another book. This first night I was there, Thomas met me and videoed the thirty strokes with a cane for losing the football bet. Something about being on camera, you don't want to appear a wuss. Even though, it was painful, I tried to stay still and quiet. You can, however, hear the inflections in my voice change as I am counting them out. The video will be on his blog sometime in the future.

The following day he met me after work. I had asked him a few months back if we could sample everything in his bag of implements. I wanted to write a description and what it felt like. Writing spanking stories on a regular basis you tend to write what is familiar, or what you have experienced before. I wanted to write about some different implements. I asked him how many he had, he wasn't sure. He asked me to decide on a number of swats to receive with each implement, I wasn't sure, so he decided it would be five. I was quite shocked at the assortment of things he had in his collection. There were fifty-three implements, and it took 43 minutes to sample them all.

I had a hard time wrapping my head around a few of the implements. The metal shoe horn: A metal shoe horn attached to a log metal rod, the aluminum paddle, which sometimes he freezes. When it is frozen, it is hard and thuddy, you don't feel the sting until the cold starts to dissipate. The other was the fire hose strap. Those were the most painful. In his bag were canes-rattan and acrylic, belts, straps, brushes, paddles of wood and leather in various sizes and thickness, a wicker sconce, plastic paddles, rattan rug beater, wooden spoons, foil sprays: these felt like being pelted with hail, polyurethane paddles, my wicked, and it's evil twin, lexan ruler and paddle, rubber loopy, and yellow jackets: these were made from irrigation tubing with rubber tips. One individually felt like a switch, several together really stung, thus fitting the name. I think writing after each implement took away from the pain I was feeling. I was more focused on writing my description before he used the next implement. This video will be in the Birchwood clips at a later date.

Unfortunately, for me, this was not the end of receiving spanks to my backside. I still had a punishment to be accountable for. He laid out some nasty items. I received another 40 strokes with the cane for arguing bedtimes. Then came the Thomas strap for language, then he finished off with a bath brush and a thick wooden spoon. I was struggling with a few demons this session, and it ended up being much longer than expected.

The next day, I was sore, but deep muscle sore. I really wasn't bruised that bad. I did have a few abrasions and one small tear. More like a small prick from one of the implements. It was about three days before I could walk comfortably.

I do find it interesting how I took 265 swats without shedding a tear, but when the punishment came... I cried. Thomas will not be the only person I will be doing research with. I also asked Niko. I am not going to lie, I am a bit nervous with this session. Niko hits hard even when playing, and he has some very wicked items in his bag. So, when we can coordinate our schedules, I will be meeting him to see what he has in his bag of tricks.

My Butt Is Big

2011-01-05T03:19:00.009-05:00

I saw this and it made me smile. It describes me and my attitude perfectly.

" MY BUTT IS BIG

~AND ROUND LIKE THE LETTER C

~AND TEN THOUSAND LUNGES

~HAVE MADE IT ROUNDER

~BUT NOT SMALLER

~AND THAT'S JUST FINE.

~IT'S MY SPACE HEATER

~FOR MY SIDE OF THE BED

~IT'S MY AMBASSADOR

~TO THOSE WHO WALK BEHIND ME

~IT'S A BORDER COLLIE

~THAT HERDS SKINNY WOMAN

~AWAY FROM THE BEST DEALS

~AT CLOTHING SALES.

~MY BUTT IS BIG

~AND THAT'S JUST FINE

~AND THOSE WHO MIGHT SCORN IT

~ARE INVITED TO KISS IT

~JUST DO IT!"

nikewoman.com

New Year

2011-01-01T09:34:00.008-05:00

I had a wonderful holiday with my kids here. The one downer, I was really sick, and still am. Christmas day was horrible, I really didn't think I would have the energy to pull through... but I did. The day after Christmas we have a tradition to go shopping. That we did- for almost 8 hrs. We also took them to the Lowery Park Zoo, Busch Gardens and Madeira Beach- every day was something new. Madeira Beach is a place filled with little shops. I found a few good deals for my spanko needs. I bought some decorative brush's for a few of my girlfriends. I got a beautiful stainless steel belt buckle bracelet and the pajama boxers that are pictured above. Bubba Gump's always has great spanko finds. Okay, if this does not give Luke a clue, then I am at a loss.

I enjoyed the time with family, the house being filled with noise and laughter. We took the time to take family pictures. My son is a wonderful photographer and we went down to the nature preserve by our house. We are making memory books for the relatives. I miss them now that they have all gone back home. Especially, my grandson, who became quite attached. Every morning he greeted me with a hug and then said, "Noni, can you make me pancakes?" *smiles*I was worried that he might not remember me since he is four, and I haven't seen him in over a year, but he did. I can't wait to see them all again in June when I make my trip out west.

January is already filling up. Next weekend, I will go away for my "me" time. Time to write and edit, and of course, get my first spanking of the new year. It isn't going to be such a pleasant one liked I hoped for. I was sketchy in some of my reports, Thomas looks at that the same as a lie- which falls under disobedience too. Throw in a little language and attitude- it's going to make for a very sore backside. My daughter also starts competition season for gymnastics. We have one local meet and the rest will be in Orlando. Luke is looking to take a business trip overseas, but hopefully it will be only a couple weeks.

My one big present from Luke was a new MacBook. I'm really enjoying it, and I am learning it pretty quick, considering I have been a PC user my whole life. I actually had more pictures to add, but I haven't quite mastered it yet. I had a great lap top, but the battery life sucked. It is nice being able to roam around and not be tethered to one place.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.

Happy Holidays

2010-12-23T08:55:00.005-05:00

Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday! I started mine off with a nice stress reliever at the beginning of the week. A hand spanking that got my attention, but at the same time didn't feel like a punishment. It was a nice change for me, since I don't see many of those.

My kids were supposed to be here today, but got delayed in Denver for 14 hrs. I was thankful we could get them in the USO until their flight out. It is a long day for my four year old grandson. He was doing great when we Skyped. He was playing with his DS. The other kids were pretty exhausted. They have a five hour flight to N.C., so hopefully they will get some much needed rest. If all goes well, I should see them early tomorrow morning.

Right after the holidays, I will be going away for a mini-vacation and will be working on a few new stories. It will also be my first session of the year, and not a pleasant one.

I don't have any New Year's goal written, and if I did, I would probably break them in the first week. How many people really stick to them? I do have certain rules that I hope in time will vanish. I also have some new things I would like to experience this coming year, and will share them with you as they come about.

This year has been a good one, and I can't wait to see what the coming year will bring. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season.

Katia

The Spirit of Giving

2010-12-16T10:29:00.003-05:00

I was reading Cookie's blog this morning. It made me think about times in my own life when people have been so giving. When things happened at just the right moment. I have always raised my kids to be giver's. I told them that it will come back to them in a time they might need something. The whole pay it forward concept.

My oldest daughter works hard as a single mom, but won't hesitate to help someone, even if it's her last dollar. Last week she was struggling to make my grandson's preschool tuition. She is working as a bartender while attending college. On the nights she works there are regulars that come in just to see her. There was a gentlemen winning big on one of the lottery machines. She made a comment in passing that it would be nice to win big, she would love to buy her son a few more Christmas presents. The guy gave her a $200.00 tip. Also, that night she happened to make $150 in tips which covered the tuition. The guy contacted my daughter on facebook. She accepted him as a friend and wrote him a thank you note. She told him that instead of helping her with Christmas, he just helped pay for her son's education. He was deeply touched, as was my daughter. She was choking up just telling me the story.

These last couple year's, Luke and I have been so blessed with his job. Each year, things have just seem to fall into place for us. We do make sacrifices with his absences, but as a whole, things are good. We are so excited for Christmas this year. We are flying out our kids and grandson living on the west coast. They will be here on the 23rd. My son's girlfriend had planned to come- then some family issues came up and she couldn't make it. The issues- money. This girl just got straight A's her first year in college and works hard. I could hear the disappointment in her voice when she called. I passed the message on to Luke and he told me to do whatever it takes, but get her a ticket here. Luke has a soft heart even though he appears to be a bad ass. She will be joining us for Christmas.

I think it's awesome people become really thoughtful and giving during the holidays, but I think it's a gift that should be given on a year round basis.

Happy Holidays Everyone.

Hodge Podge

2010-12-12T20:59:00.011-05:00

The video I did last week with Niko and Cookie was posted today on spankingtube.com. You can also see the video on Cookie's blog. I was so nervous watching, because it was the first. There is

a lot dialogue because it's an experiment. I have sure come a long way in a year's time. I attended a party, allowed Thomas to post pics of my backside, and now a video. I feel like I am slowly coming out of the closet. While it's exciting, it's also scary at the same time. I did have a really good time, so I might do more in the future.

I lost again this week in Fantasy Football- which means 30 strokes for me with a cane from Thomas. I think I need to stop betting. I have not been lucky all season. Two lost bets to Thomas and one to Todd.

I have been struggling this week with my rules. After 2 weeks of no soda... I broke. Luke and my son have been taunting and teasing. Today, I grabbed Luke's and chugged it. Instant headache. It was tough telling Thomas. I had a serious migraine a couple days this week and missed a few reports- again adding to my bad girl tab. I told him I have come to the conclusion that I will never have a maintenance spanking. Sometimes it's hard when my hubby is slack on the rules and Thomas rules with an iron fist. There is never a win-win situation. I am glad to have Thomas as a disciplinarian. I can't imagine the void again of knowing you need a spanking and it just doesn't happen. Luke is still periodically showing small sparks of interest...still crossing my fingers.

Keeping Toasty Here

2010-12-10T05:00:00.000-05:00

My backside has been seeing plenty of action. I will not need any bun warmers to stay warm in this chilly weather. After seeing Thomas for a double punishment session on Wednesday, I met with Niko and Cookie for some play time on Saturday.

Niko wanted to video an experiment with Capzasin HP and Icy Hot. I was a little nervous because I had never done a video. It was really nice to have Cookie by my side. He started by rubbing one cheek with Capzasin and the other with Icy Hot. Choosing some of his nastier implements he proceeded to see how the temperature raised on each side. After each implement he would take the temperature with a laser gun thermometer. At first, I felt nothing, but Cookie did. I think he put on four applications of each during our session. I think I felt more warmed by the implements he used then I did by the heating liniments. Not to mention, he was giving me extra swats because he said I was talking smack before we did the session. I did laugh when Niko was swinging his lexan cane like Zorro and it snapped. It didn't stop him though, because he still used the broken piece on us. Even after the session I wasn't that warm, but as I was driving Niko back to his truck, my dupa felt like it was on fire. It wasn't just the Capzasin side, but also the Icy Hot side too. In the future I don't care to experience either of these again- Niko or Thomas! I am not sure when the video will be out. He was going to try the experiment out on a few more ladies.

I only got a few days break before it was time to meet Thomas again. This time we did the session in the back of my SUV. It has it's advantages and disadvantages. He didn't get to use the cane he brought to stripe my backside, and he couldn't get a hard swing on the boudoir strap he brought. Downside~I can't move once I'm over his lap and he was still able to give a serious strapping even without the swing. Even though my debt is clear for the moment, I still owe him on the bet we made. I play against him this week again in the OTK league, hosted by Todd and Suzy. We are betting double or nothing. If I lose, I get 30 swats with the cane on video. Speaking of lost bets, I just lost to Todd only by seven points this weekend. Looks like my dupa isn't going to be catching a break anytime soon.

Giving and Receiving

2010-12-02T21:39:00.010-05:00

This week I got to see plenty of Thomas. At the beginning of the week, I helped film their promo video for their clip store. Since it's chilly most everywhere now, it would be a good time to go down load their video's and inspire some spanking action around your own household. Warm those bums up. You can see the promo on Thomas's or Cookie's blog and purchase at the links below~
Birchwood Academy Clips and Cookie's Clip Store

The next day was my turn to see Thomas, except mine was not a fun spanking. This day turned out to be long and painful. I had much to answer for over the holiday; disobedience, soda, language and attitude. We met on his lunch hour and I did not set a good tone on the way to the spanking destination. I had bought a sugar free red bull. When I buy a drink I look at calories, carbs, etc., and not the caffeine content. Thomas is pretty adamant that I am not to have caffeine. Although, I did give up diet Pepsi and have not had one since Monday. He made a comment about the red bull, so I opened my window, poured it out and chucked the can to the back seat. Let's just say...not with such a good attitude. He informed me that he was going to just deal with my disobedience and not everything else. He brought a pretty stout leather strap and colored my backside. The session didn't go so well. When the pain really starts to hurt, I refuse to cry and ball my fists really tight. Letting anger take over instead of remorse. I think it's more of a defense mechanism than defiance. None the less, he doesn't tolerate it. He just spanks harder- making me keep my hands flat.

After the session I was talking with Misty about it. We both were chatting about having a balance. Because even if I have a really good week, I would be doomed. I was really sore, but I text him to ask if we could meet after work so I could have a clean slate. Am I crazy????
Misty asked me to text her later so she knew I was still alive.

I picked up Thomas for the second time. This time I brought my own brush (big mistake) and a small leather paddle. I really didn't want to go a second round with the strap. Not like I get a say. He refused the leather paddle, but took my brush. I have a large wood paddle brush and oh my gosh, ouch!!! The session was little talk and a lot of spanking. He used the brush, the strap, his hand and a switch. Again, not only dealing for what I was accountable for, but for balling my fists. My backside was on fire! He did rub some arinca gel on when we were done, and I had a clean slate.

I still don't agree with no caffeine, I gave up soda. He feels I am addicted. I like to have coffee in the morning. My son and I have fun buying all these flavored creamers. He standing strong on his decision and I am fighting it like usual. You think I'd learn, because I am going to lose the battle.

At Last!!

2010-11-27T22:51:00.005-05:00

As you know it has been a long time since Luke has been interested in spanking. The few times in the past when I had approached him I was shot down. That hurts more than any spanking. This morning when I was making breakfast he walked by and swatted me. My response, "Hey!" He said something that made me shake my head. His response, "Oh, that is right, I have no rights." I wasn't quite sure how to take that so I just responded with, 'whatever' and laughed it off.

The more I thought about it during the day, the more I wanted to ask him what he meant by that. Any discussions about spanking usually turn sour, and frankly, I just don't want to go there. This evening, I took him by the hand and lead him to our bedroom. I grabbed the cane and placed it in his hands. I told him he has every right to my backside. I think he was a little shell shocked. I removed my clothes from the waist down and bent over our bed.

I was a little nervous, I wasn't sure if he would take the opportunity or turn me down. Since it had been awhile he was actually a tad heavy handed. He left quite a few stripes on my backside. I think I have had a smile plastered on my face since then. This was a big step tonight. I have been waiting for a long, long time. Luke isn't going to hop right back into things, but I will approach him again sometime soon and see if I can encourage him a little more.

The funny part of this~ As I was admiring the stripes in the mirror. He starts getting out his change container. He usually does this when he goes to the driving range. I ask him what he is doing? He told me the swish of the cane reminded him of the swish of his driver. Nice! I am thinking about spankings and sex and my husband is thinking about his golf swing!

Tis' The Season

2010-11-27T09:11:00.007-05:00

Thanksgiving was great and we enjoyed hanging together as a family. I spent almost all day in the kitchen, but I love it. I think the hardest part for me is not having all the kids home. Although, I am in a countdown mode now because they will all be home for Christmas.

I didn't participate in Black Friday this year. Instead, we met some fellow spanker friends in Orlando. They were staying at one of the Disney Hotels, we had a nice time lounging by the pool sipping adult beverages while the kids played. Seems strange to be lounging in late November when most of the country is in frigid temperatures. One of their sons and my daughter are good friends, so they enjoyed texting back and forth before we actually got there. I have been noticing more and more that young boys have been taking quite an interest in my daughter. One little boy in our community was bringing her flowers every day for about a month. My daughter cracked me up, she didn't put them in water. Instead, walked them to the patio and placed them in one of the empty pots. Last week, she experienced her first kiss. I didn't make a huge deal about it, because he was moving. So, he kissed her goodbye. She is eleven, and I decided that it's time for the boy talk, or more what is on their minds. She has always been way more mature for her age, so I think this talk will be pretty deep.

With the season comes a large opportunity to either stick with your current goals or fail. I have failed miserably. I am not looking forward to seeing Thomas at all. My downward spiral started the night before Thanksgiving. I needed to run to the store. Luke was working late, so we only had the scooters. I searched everywhere for my daughters helmet and couldn't find it. It was already dark, so I gave her mine and we set off for the store. Personally, I am sick of dealing with this helmet issue. I have really tried to make a conscious effort since our last "talk," but at times, I just can't or won't want to wear it. Then comes the issue of diet. I had decided to give up diet Pepsi, but I wanted to be able to enjoy as many as I wanted too. I was only allowed one a day- didn't stick to that at all. I am paying the price because my stomach hasn't been feeling so well. As for food, I did really well and didn't over indulge in anything. I probably ate a few things I shouldn't, so it has me a little nervous for my Monday weigh-in. I have a lot on my plate to answer for- Thomas tells me all the time, "I made the conscious choice to do what I did, so I can pay for my mistakes. "

With that being said- I have made a few new goals for myself. One- giving up the diet Pepsi on Monday, and two- I want to try and lose 10 more pounds before my kids get here on the 23rd. I can do it if I stick to my diet and exercise program. I am sure I will be getting plenty of incentive "talks" along the way.

A Thanksgiving Story

2010-11-24T20:13:00.005-05:00

I was busy today baking and prepping for the holiday tomorrow. I noticed I haven't written in some time on Katia's Writings. I came across a picture I thought would be fun to write a Thanksgiving tale. It was my version how the first holiday may have been celebrated. Every now and then it's fun to tell silly tales.

For those celebrating tomorrow, I hope everyone enjoys time with their families, some good food and football games. Black Friday, we are going to Orlando to meet some fellow spanker's. They are visiting from Maryland. It will be a strictly vanilla day as we will have our families, but it will still be a great time together.

OTK-Fantasy Football Update & Such

2010-11-23T16:46:00.023-05:00

This week I secured a victory against Muchkin's Master 64-42. I was very excited because finally I am out of the 12th place slot. I only moved to 11th place, but I will take it. This coming week Cookie and I will be playing against each other. The following week, will be against Todd, from A.S.S., and we are still working on the details of a bet. Although, he holds the number one position, it's week 13, and thirteen is my lucky number.

I want to wish everyone an early Happy Thanksgiving. I met with Thomas today instead of our normal time, since I start cooking days ahead for the holiday. It was finally more on a maintenance level. He used his hand for most of the spanking. Although, he targeted my sit spot and thighs. I know I have griped about my thighs in the past, but as long as no implements are used... it's fair game. He did part of the spanking with my belt. He was reminding me about the scooter and my diet Pepsi intake.

I went to get gas the other day on my scooter, and the drive way to the store I was going to was right next store, so I didn't put my helmet back on. He reiterated-TO BE WORN AT ALL TIMES. I have a feeling this is going to be a continuing conversation with us. I still don't agree to wearing it at certain times. As for the diet Pepsi, after Thanksgiving I am going to try to give it up completely. He wants me to stay with my one a day until then-

This is kind of my sentiment on that. We will see... Misty says, "Sometimes some things are worth a spanking." This might be one of those times.

Weekend of Pleasure and Pain

2010-11-21T08:38:00.004-05:00

Friday, I rented a hotel room to have a writer's weekend. I have several stories I just needed to have some quiet time without distractions to finish. I am happy to say I finished a book, a short story, and partially started a sequel that Misty has been after me to continue.

Thomas stopped by after work to take care of my weekly punishment. I would love to say maintenance, but I guess I am never lucky enough to get those. When you see someone on a weekly basis, that leaves a lot of time for mischief and misbehavior to be accountable for. It was the basics- language, attitude, diet (soda). Good news on the diet front- I have lost almost 20 lbs and 18 inches. Whoo hoo! Being in a hotel Thomas chose "quiet" implements, more like want to scream at the top of my lungs implements. Those included canes and wicked, a new one I'll call wicked's sidekick, another implement with five solid strands of long tubing. My dupa was striped like a candy cane. I made a smart remark when he sent me to the corner, so he grabbed a large wooden fraternity sized paddle, I received 10 solid shots with that. I never have a very gracious attitude about corner time. I know it's supposed to be a time to reflect, it just makes me mad. He also brought out the Jakori paddle- so much for quiet implements.

The first night I was in a groove and since Thomas took away bedtimes I took advantage of this. I wrote until 4 am in the morning. I was just starting to doze when I heard a band practicing. I looked at my cell phone it was just after five in the morning. Seriously!!! I chose a hotel that was hosting several bands for a competition. They were good, but not something I wanted to be hearing. Obviously, my neighbor didn't either, because I could hear him yanking his chain very loudly and cussing. I was awake, so I decided to just start my day. Not sure, how I was going to manage with less than an hour sleep, but I figured caffeine could be my best friend for the day.

Saturday-Thomas stopped by in the morning before work. To give me a "preview" of my upcoming punishment. He grabbed the cane, and I was not in the mood. I asked for him to please switch to leather. Out of a huge bag of implements- he grabs the Thomas strap...I hate that thing! It was way to loud for seven in the morning. He switched to his hand. Not long after he started, my next door neighbor began to clap. Not sure if she was keeping time with Thomas or giving him a standing ovation. We both just started laughing.

While he was at work, I was able to get a lot more writing done. I also did quite a bit of research for my sequel I am writing. After work, Thomas came by to administer my punishment for not wearing a helmet. We grabbed lunch first and ran a few errands. I asked to pick the implement, and I picked a smaller leather strap. It didn't take long before I wanted to be done, because I was so sore for all the previous spankings. I struggled so hard emotionally with this punishment. I think my heart hurt more than spanking. I want to do the right thing by not disobeying his rules, but I truly love riding my scooter without a helmet at times. I wear it on main roads, but when I am in parks I like to take it off to cruise around. He will not give even an inch on this rule. Every time he would ask me if I would follow the rule, I couldn't answer. So, the spanking continued for quite some time- finally I said I would try. Try was not the word he wanted to hear. He proceeded to enlighten me with a lecture- all I could do was cry. I wanted to tell him I would comply, but I really felt I couldn't promise him that. It was followed by ten very intense final strokes. Even now I have a small seed of doubt... we will see.

That afternoon and early evening, I had another successful time of writing. Although, I was starting to have some major focusing problems, because I was just tired. I did get a call from Niko and chatted with him for some time, and text with Misty. Thomas decided to put his foot down and call for a nine o'clock bedtime. I tried to negotiate for even just my normal time- nope.
Well, at nine all the band members returned. It was a party at the pool, no way I was going to get any sleep. It quieted down after about 30 minutes. Have you ever been over tired? I tossed and turned until about eleven.

This weekend has being really productive. I really love the time to just sit and write. I also know I am starting my week with a clean slate. I have a goal to get either just a maintenance spanking, or a GG spanking. I do still have two bets on plate to pay for though- sheesh!

Helping Out My Friend~Niko

2010-11-16T10:26:00.005-05:00

Being a disciplinarian must be tough. Trying to figure out what works for the individual you deal with, and what is to little or too much. They are often judged by people who really don't know them. Not like those who actually spend time with them, or get to know them away from a disciplinary setting. Niko sent me a comment he wrote to a blogger that was bashing him. It had to be approved, so most likely the blogger wouldn't approve. I am not going to list the blogger, because that is not my intention to bash others and their opinions. It wouldn't be the first time I have heard something negative about him.

I have known Niko for quite some time. He has been a good friend, as well as a disciplinarian to me. He is always there when I needed someone to talk to and he is a good listener. He has an amazing sense of humor and it has often be seen in his video's on spankingtube.com. When I talked to him this morning, I told him I would be happy to print his comment on my blog. I do not have the biggest following or even a ton of hits, but I am always more than willing to help a friend. So here is his letter~

If people are going to gossip about me they should at least get their facts straight. So let me enlighten you.

Just so you know, I'm a professional disciplinarian. There is a fee for the sessions I give and all spankee's have the option to either pay for the session to be discreet or allow me to film the session as the fee. If you allow me to film the session your identity will be completely concealed. Your face will not be shown, nor will I use your real name. I will also conceal or cover any tattoos, scars, or birthmarks that may expose who you are. So even filmed sessions are still somewhat discreet.

Regardless of what you choose, you will need to sign a contract prior to the session to show your consent and willingness to receive the punishment.

I don't travel to AR or NYC, or up North period. Nor, do I cruise the gentleman's clubs either. Most of my clients have high profile jobs. They are Doctors, Lawyers, I even have a client who is a CEO for a Fortune 500 company. I have spanked a model and a news reporter. I don't force anyone to video, it's their choice.

Real Spankings-Having a safe word for a real spanking is like a criminal having a safe word from their jail sentence!

If you are wanting a REAL SPANKING, I don't use safe words, because in a REAL spanking you are not safe from receiving a REAL spanking. This is part of the problem, if you are in control of the spanking with a safe word then it's not real! If your not in control of what happens for your spanking then it's genuine and real. I decide when the spanking is over and how severe it will be.

It is not my intention to draw blood or make you black and blue from a spanking. I cater my spanking to each individual spankee's pain tolerance level. I don't set out to blister someones butt. It may only take a hand spanking for it to be effective, or I may have to paddle her black and blue for the spanking to be effective. I won't know until the session starts what it will take for the spanking to be effective. The spanking will be to your pain tolerance level.

I do give a safe word spanking for play sessions, or if the spankee wants to test her limits. As I've said if you are looking for a REAL spanking from me that's what you will get.

I really do care about the girls I spank. Although, I do bust their butts, it's genuine and sincere punishment that I administer in hopes that the spanking I give will help them to change, or give them a good emotional release from any guilt they have for their past transgressions.

I have a good rapport with most the ladies I see and I try to keep it that way. One of my spankee's I've been seeing for 11 years.

So if you people have any questions feel free to email me anytime.
Tanyourbottom@aol.com

Niko.
BTW- I haven't spanked 60 some women, it's 102. *laughs*

Just Stuff...

2010-11-14T08:19:00.019-05:00

Hopefully, next weekend I will feel the inspiration I need to complete a few of the stories I have been working on. I got a good response for my need for an editor, thanks. I am leaving again next weekend to do some writing. I picked a place closer to home, and close to a mall, in case I need some human interaction. I also booked it for two days away from the family, instead of one. I am sure Thomas will be paying a visit, I just don't want my backside so uncomfortable it's hard to sit and write.

Which, could be entirely be possible, since I admitted after my last bun warming punishment I still had urges to ride without my helmet. That was this last week's ass breaker. He brought along my "wicked," the Thomas strap, and the Jakori paddle. He gave me a brief warm-up with his hand. Then he wore out my backside with the other implements. He even put aside the other things he needed to deal with such as, language, attitude, and my diet. In those moments when your brain is fogged with pain being applied, it's hard to be honest. He was definitely making his point clear that he wanted me to wear a helmet at all times. Later, that evening, I admitted through a story I wrote to him that I still was having great urges. That spanking was heinous, and he had already warned that if he had to do it again it would be worse. Am I crazy?

He even grounded me for a week. Which, I managed to find loop holes to ride anyways. I went to catch the sunset at Picnic Island with my son. We had our camera's in hand and took off on the scooters. As soon as I was in the park, off came the helmet. I tooled around with out it. I tried to justify that if I am going slow, I shouldn't have to wear it. Then Luke went out of town on a golf tournament, so I had to ride yesterday to run some errands.

Niko and I talked about this yesterday morning. Actually, he talked and I listened. He told me next time he sees me he wants to do an experiment. First, he started by saying he would push me into a wall with my helmet, then without to see what hurt the most. I told him he would kill me. Then he went from the wall to the ground, still a very deadly option. He settled with wanting to bring a whiffle ball bat- Okay, I couldn't help but laugh. His point being that even at a slow speed it will hurt if I fall. Here is my contention- Luke doesn't mind, the state of Florida doesn't mind, but Thomas does. It is his rule! I know since I see him for discipline I need to follow, but it's a tough one for me. This is one rule I think will result in several layers being removed from my backside. I can be quite stubborn when I want something. Unfortunate for me, so can Thomas.

Update-OTK Football league has been so much fun this year. Although, I am still in 12th place. I still owe Thomas on a bet we made a couple weeks ago. You can check out Todd and Suzy's blog to see the rankings. Even if I don't do well, I'm having fun checking my players out during the games, and placing little side bets along the way.

Just For A Brief Moment

2010-11-07T15:15:00.008-05:00

This morning Luke and I were having a conversation before breakfast. I was telling him how I have had writers block lately and could use some inspiration. He said, " Maybe, I can spank you until you say you are good." At this point, my heart is beating harder and I was getting excited. As you know, it has been awhile since he has even playfully spanked me. I said with a big smile,"The cane is on the top of the closet shelf." He looked at me, smiled, and then walked out. I sat there for a minute feeling as though I had been punched in the gut. I scooped my heart up off the floor and went to get myself together. I cried silently for a few minutes, wiped the tears away, shrugged it off and went to go make breakfast for my family.

During breakfast the hurt turned to anger. I text Thomas asking if I could take a break for awhile, his answer, "No." Which, is really what I needed to hear. I was thinking to myself why do this? I know why, because I would be more of a mess if I didn't have some accountability.

Not long after I got a smiley face text from Niko. My husband left to golf, and I text Niko back with what happened. Niko may be a bad ass disciplinarian, but he is a great listener and friend. We had a really nice phone conversation this morning and my spirits were lifted.

**I have been looking for someone to edit my stories, I could really use a second pair of eyes. I advertised on Craig's list, but haven't got any bites. If anyone reading this is interested, you can contact me at my e-mail, ciaoangels@yahoo.com We can talk about the details and payment arrangements.

This week with Thomas, I have two bets to pay up on and a punishment for no helmet/disobedience. I tried to plead my case, but he is pretty unwavering. My dupa should get plenty of attention. Although, I am so grateful to Thomas, I really hope some day Luke will come around. Even if he never does a punishment spanking, at least playful ones. I want to talk with him, but I am so gun shy and I don't want to push. Although, maybe next time I just need to grab the cane, put it in his hands, and tell him flat out, "Spank me!"

Catch Up

2010-11-03T17:15:00.011-04:00

It seems like forever since I have had the time to really sit at my computer. Moving is such a huge undertaking. I did push myself even with the warnings I got from Thomas and my hubby, it's just ingrained in my nature. I did manage to finish everything by my Nov 1st deadline. I have enjoyed eating dinner outside nightly with the family. We have some pretty spectacular sunsets.
I am getting geared for the holidays, I am flying in all the kids, and grandson to Florida. This will be our first Christmas here as a family. We usually fly home to our Oregon residence and enjoy Christmas with snow. The one thing I miss is cutting our own tree. I have done this since I was a child, which I passed to my children. We have always made a big to do out of it, stopping at a local coffee shop to grab hot chocolate or hot apple cider with carmel. I had tons of baked goods at home, and we would have a tree decorating party. Depending on how hard it was snowing, was how fast we'd pick the tree out. Since we are here now, I will look forward to starting some new traditions.

Halloween day I was actually sick, but I got to attend Guavaween with Cookie and Thomas. It was so much fun! There was definitely a lot of a booty this year, many woman sporting cute panties and thongs. I am sure Thomas was quite enjoying the scenery. We dressed as naughty school girls, although, Cookie was trying to say she was the good one, (we all know the truth) and I was the naughty one. Thomas was looking very debonair in his suit carrying a thick ruler. It was used on our dupa's many times during the evening. No one seemed to care, they encouraged him to spank us. Cookie and I attempted several times to disarm him of his weapon, we were successful a few times, but failed attempts he swatted us several times.

Yesterday, was a my usual punishment with Thomas. He brought velcro restraints with him. Every time he has bound my hands, I have escaped. I even bet this time would be no different. I have gotten out of duct taped gloves and rope. I started to use my teeth to undo, but he threatened to gag my mouth. I endured the small polyurethane paddle and wooden brush. As much as I tried, no escape. It did however keep me from putting my hands back and receiving penalty shots, so it was a good thing. My feet were also bound, so it was hard to go anywhere...I had to just lay there and take it. I lost my Fantasy Football bet, so I will be receiving a caning, not sure if he is still video taping it. As far as, this bet, who knows what his evil mind will come up with.

Side Bet for OTK Football

2010-10-26T10:22:00.013-04:00

Hopefully, this will not be me in a couple weeks. Thomas and I play against each other this coming week on the OTK Football League, hosted by Todd & Suzy. If I win I want a GG spanking or a play session with Cookie. If I have punishment that week, he can only use his hand. If I lose, then I get strokes with a cane on video.

I still will not show my face, but my dupa will be out there. So, I hope all of you will keep your fingers crossed for me. This last week, I did score a victory against Fanny Smackers, but I am still left in 12th place. I am really hoping to move up and get out of last place.

Here is how the league is playing out-
1. Munchkin's Master-
2. Whatever
3. A.S.S.
4.Tail Blazer
5. Fanny Smackers
6. Red Butt Enablers
7. Tampa Paddlers
8. Cookie Jar
9. RGB's Tush Toasters
10. Steel Paddle
11. Suzy's Spank World
12. Bratass- Me

For a moving update- I am just about completed. I am bruised from head to toe. I have had a few mishaps, I fell down 1/2 flight of stairs, got stuck in an elevator, and almost went over our loft when trying to grip a dresser. I was handing it over the edge and the movers hands slipped off. We were bent over the railing on tip toes, not smart, but it beat the alternative of spiral stairs. I had this household set up as fast as I tore the other one down. I still managed to cook lovely meals for my family every night. Last night, we ate on our veranda over looking the bay.

I have a little cleaning left at the old place, but seriously, I am so tired of those damn stairs. I need to call in carpet cleaners and get a storage unit for our larger items. I have very little left to unpack here, but I am going to take a few days and recover. I have been taking pain pills every night because I am so sore.

Tomorrow is my session with Thomas and I am not looking forward to it at all. I know he will not let me reschedule either. I swear he could swat me with his hand and I'll probably bawl... I am that sore. Thursday, Cookie and I are going shopping to find my very first school girl uniform. It should be fun.

Moving & LOL Day!

2010-10-22T05:00:00.005-04:00

Yesterday, I had a blast discovering new blogs and adding to my blog roll. It gave me a nice break while I was packing. Thanks again Bonnie for putting that together again.

For the last few weeks, I having been looking for a place for us to move. It has been a sad journey because the Casa has been my home for two years. The people here are like family. We have made friends from all over the world and the parties here are amazing. We have a beautiful townhouse with an 800 sq. loft that my daughter is occupying. It's like her own apartment since she has a full bathroom up there.

Our son came to live with us in May, so they have been sharing. They don't spend a lot of time up there other than to sleep, but the fact that they are of the opposite sex and the age difference, change was needed. Also, our rent here is extremely steep and I wanted to try and save us a few bucks.

We found a place Saturday that was nice and had wonderful amenities to offer. I went in yesterday to give our notice. I told them why we were moving. They did not want us to leave. The office staff showed me a three bedroom place here with a gorgeous view of the bay. It has everything we need other than storage. They were willing to negotiate a price so we would stay.
They even let us out of our previous contract early, and gave me a week to just move in before rent would start. I am really excited about staying.

It won't be to bad of a move. My husband wants me to hire movers. I told him I am going to do all the little stuff and will let the movers handle the big pieces. One reason is there are 13 spiral stairs to my daughters loft and 21 stairs to the main living level. I guarantee next week I will be getting plenty of exercise. The thing with me is I like to finish a project until it is done. So, I would be happy working from sun up until I drop. I also don't eat when I get busy because I forget. Thomas is going to make sure I do neither. We had a quick stress relief session on Wednesday, and he reiterated what I should and shouldn't be doing. My goal is to start Monday and be fully moved by Thursday because Luke's birthday is Friday. I still need to make sure the kids are doing their school work, so that will force me to break at times.

Hopefully, things will go smoothly this time and I can sit on my veranda over looking the bay with a cool beverage when all is done.

Love Our Lurkers Day

2010-10-21T05:00:00.003-04:00

Thank you Bonnie from My Bottom Smarts for setting up this day. Last year I participated and discovered many new blogs; making new friends along the way. Thanks to all of you who visit regularly and leave comments. I also want to thank all the lurkers who drop by just to take a peek at my blog. Feel free to leave a comment, even if it is anonymous.

Since I started this blog I have had nothing but positive feed back. Even when I decided to put some things out there I was sure would have my head on a chopping block. This blog has been my journal of sorts, except I am sharing my life with you all. I also have a writing site if you haven't visited, drop by. I try to participate in Flash Fiction Friday on a weekly basis. Short stories of erotica and a place to spill out my wild imagination.

Fantasy Football Update & Such...

2010-10-19T07:47:00.008-04:00

In six weeks, I have gone from number one in the league to 12th... go me! I still do not understand the scoring, point system, or any of the crap. I do enjoy checking my progress during the games and seeing how close I am to winning. Right now, I am 1 and 5...not so hot. I am not giving up hope that I will climb back up through the ranks. I am going to make some side bets with a few of the teams in the upcoming weeks.

My backside has been staying on the toasty side. I met with Niko this week to settle an old debt. He is a great disciplinarian, but he is just wicked from the get go. There are no warm-ups, no hesitations, no asking to wait a second. I can tell you I received numerous penalty swats that night. When all was said and done, we had a great chat and just enjoyed catching up.

Three days later, came my weekly session with Thomas. This too was not a pleasant session. He asked me to bring all my implements which I snuck out to the car in a large bag. All was hidden but the cane, which stuck out of the top. Thomas chose the cane. I usually don't complain about my positioning, but this week he chose the diaper position. I do not take this one well at all! Nothing against it, but for me it is a hard line. I swear lately with his sessions I cry so easy, and I am not one to usually cry. I begged and pleaded to change. I got to go to my hands and knees...okay, this was not working for me either. Finally, he agreed to let me lean over the bed and take my dues. Later, I was shopping and saw this...

I sent to Thomas telling him these ladies have no problem with the diaper position. I can tend to be a smart ass at times, but this was just funny.

Naughty/Nice

2010-10-15T09:39:00.004-04:00

I had a session with Thomas on Wednesday. It was a punishment spanking I put off so Cookie and I could have a play session before I left. He brought an implement that I entrusted to him before I left. Kind of a gesture of, 'you can trust me, I'll be good'. Which, for the most part I was...other than the mischievous pranks Misty and I pulled. He brought the implement I call "wicked." It is actually, "wicked sister" by Caniac. It was my first implement I bought when I was still naive about how bad ass some implements could be. When I saw him pull that from his car, the tears started. I have not had such great luck with that thing in the past. Maybe, it was Luke's inexperience, but every time that would cut little nicks in me and always wrap on the hips. Poor Thomas, I was in tears and he hadn't even laid a hand on me. He did reassure me, and told me he had faith in me I would get through this. I tried to think about what Shannon always says, "No one has ever died from a spanking."

The session was intense...for me. I think my fears played into it more than the pain of the actual spanking. This left me very unsettled. I actually asked if I could get back together for just a stress relief spanking. I have been having some issues going on lately, and I do what I do best...I bury it until it either gets me in trouble or eats my guts out. Thomas came up with a better plan, another play session with Cookie. We always have so much fun- laughing and joking. I really enjoy these sessions, and Cookie is such a joy to be around.

I am still trying to win Luke back to my side. I am not being pushy at all. I embrace those times of just playful spanks. I still have our cane in plain view, and all the implements under the bed just in case he feels inspired. I am so blessed to have a man that even though he can't go there right now, allows me to still get my needs met. I will never give up hope that someday he will see the value again in what we once had.

Team Work- My Ass!

2010-10-11T17:58:00.038-04:00

This is one of the gifts that Shannon gave me... one of many over the course of four days. My trip there did not start out so great. My first flight I was sandwiched between two big ol' boys. They both slept and were encroaching on my space. When we landed I reached down to grab my purse and noticed something white. Yup, someones gum! It was on my shoe, my pants and the purse. I was pissed. The flight attendant did her best to help me remove. Seriously! In my mind, I sent a hex to the individual to miss every flight and hope their luggage would disappear. I told the lady since my day started out bad it could only get better. When she hesitated to answer, that should have been my clue.

In Houston, I swear they drop you off farthest from your terminal. I had less than an hour to make my next flight. The tram had difficulties and was putting me seriously on a time crunch. I had about five minutes before I was to board. I was at a brisk walk when my purse strap decided to snap. By this point, after gathering up my things and taking a wrong turn; I had to sprint to make my flight. I round the corner and everyone was still crowded there. An announcement came over the speaker,"We are changing two tires, we will let you know the progress."

The flight was fast and I had a good conversation with the guy beside me. When we were walking towards the exit gate when he told me to behave myself. I am starting to wonder if I just have a look about me that screams,'trouble.' I pointed Shannon out and said, "That guy right there will make sure of that."

We had a two hour drive to their house from the airport. In the back seat of the pickup was a nasty looking plastic spatula. I thanked him for my weapon. Which, I smacked him several times in the arm on the way there. It wasn't for that purpose- laughs. He took it away.

When we got to the house he decided to give Misty and I a playful spanking. I think his way of a reminder to behave. Misty and I are a tad mischievous together. So, he gathered his nasty new paddle and had us both lean over. It started with pants up, but because MISTY kept getting up, we lost them. It started out to be just ten. Ended up being thirty. He told us to work together and encourage each other.

Misty & I found a way to get even. Every time he was distracted, we went in and decorated his paddle. We drew girly pictures and wrote sayings like: This is a piece of crap, Is this supposed to hurt , Wuss Paddle and a few more choice words. After dinner we made our way to the park where Misty and I had a blast playing on the seesaw. We had it balanced even in the air. The kids kept trying to bring us down, but we managed to keep balanced. Shannon & I took pictures. In one of the pictures I included the decorated paddle. We had to convince him we put a lot of love and thought into this project. He liked it and decided to varnish. We were scheduled later for a session with his "new" improved paddle. Another "team work" effort that sucked later that night. I think the varnish made it stronger. We asked that night if we could pick our choice of five implements to play with tomorrow and he agreed. Yes, this one backfired too.

The next day....

Shannon has a whole trunk full of nasties. Misty started picking hers out, and I did mine. Shannon just kept smiling. Yes, we got to pick our five, which he combined together. So we got ten anyways. Because we kept arguing over certain implements we somehow ended up with 12 total. We asked for a warm-up with Shannon's hand. As you can see he has mitts. I think his hand is more deadly than some of his nasty implements.
Later that day, Misty was teasing that I needed to be switched. This is a major hard line with me, playful or not. He brought in two he found outside. As soon as he entered the door I went for the kill. I was able to grab one and snap quickly. He managed to swing at me, where I now have a nice long bruise on the inside of my thigh. I did get a hold of the second one and bust it up. He told me I could go outside and pick out a switch. I said, "No!" He encouraged me really quick with the stupid red paddle.
This is what I first brought him. I can tend to be a real smart-ass. I did find the ones pictured below, and Misty and Shannon had those puppies stripped in no time.
Because we agreed to only playful spankings and no discipline, he tried to convince me to take 10 swats. I argued again emphasizing it was a no go. Again, freaking out I grabbed the two smallest and had them broken before he started. I got him to agree to five with the long one. I will tell you- I hate switches. Just those five, even though not hard had me hopping all over the bedroom. Because we had no kids in the house, we had several play sessions. In fact, one every hour for 14 hrs. Yes, I was pretty sore. I think a good majority of those implements were used many times over. Shannon was very creative and incorporated lotion at times.

On Saturday morning, he gave us another chance for team building with the stupid red paddle. At this point, I was ready to take that bitch to the grinder, so was Misty. We went to a pumpkin festival and the flea market. A spanko's paradise. Shannon found some really good finds, all which he had to try on us when we got home... and that red paddle. I saw this one hat, made me wonder if the vendor might have been a spanko. I didn't ask...

Misty and I decided to alter his beloved paddle one more time-

We drilled some holes in it. We were choosy where we chose to bore the holes. Again, I let him know what we did by sending him a picture to his phone. He was not pleased. We had to sell him once again that it was done with love. Again, Misty and I got to "test" his new paddle. He wasn't mad and actually was quite pleased with the air that rushed through the paddle. All I can say now that I am gone- have fun Misty!

Since this was my last night before my flight Shannon wanted to give me a going away present. I think personally he just didn't want me to sit comfortably on the flight home. He does a punishment called a clean slate, but like I said, this weekend was all about play time. He decided he'd take all his implements and put a number to them. In that picture above- there were about 10 more not pictured. I said just one swat, he shook his head. I went to five, and still a no. Finally, he agreed to ten. I have a really high pain tolerance when playing so I agreed. It took him about 20 minutes to go through everything. It was fast and furious- I think my butt had it's own pulse when he finished and was very tender. Mission accomplished. My flight home I could not find a comfortable position.

Unfortunately for me, I have a punishment session with Thomas this week. I chose to put it off so Cookie and I could have a play date last week with Thomas. It was a nice send off before my trip. I guess this punishment will put me back in the frame that it's time to behave again now.

Heading to Oklahoma

2010-10-02T09:38:00.012-04:00

This coming week, I am going to Oklahoma to see my gal pal Misty, and her hubby, Shannon. It is always so much fun getting together. Last time I went, I got snowed in and got to stay a few extra days. The only down side was the airline raped me with my tickets back home. This is the first time I am going with no kids. Although, my daughter is not so happy about this, as she is good friends with Misty's daughter. I explained that I wanted time alone with my girlfriend. She wasn't getting it. So, I asked her if she would want me to come play with her friends? She said, "yes." I saw I was losing that battle... she'll survive.

This next week, I will be in overdrive preparing meals and making sure my family will have all their needs met in my absence. It my own fault, they are spoiled. My husband is taking time off to hang home and take over my job as taxi driver to our kids. I just hope when I come home the house isn't to thrashed.

Every time I have gone to visit, Misty and I always plan a practical joke to play on Shannon. This first time I escaped a playful spanking, because we played it out right before I left. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way to the airport. I had bought some hot sauce for Shannon when I was in Georgia. It was called, "The Hottest F**king Hot Sauce." It came in a very tiny bottle. Misty snuck it in her purse, and I put a few drops in his soft taco then rolled it back up. Misty and I couldn't look at each other or talk, because we wouldn't be able to maintain. He took one bite and the sweat began to build on his brow. His eyes watered and I just died laughing. I think our saving grace was we had kids in the car and I had a plane to catch.

This last time, I brought some instant coffee to put in his drink. We had all the kids in on the joke. We wanted to make him think we put something in that was like a hallucogenic. He didn't drink beer liked we hoped, we were all drinking mixed drinks. I put it in and one of the kids handed it to him. We waited a few minutes and started in. He tasted that something was off in his drink. Then we began to mess with him. Asking him why his eyes were dilating? I played off like he shouldn't have tasted anything, and that something must have been wrong. It was so much fun messing with his mind. *laughs*

He is very smart though and played along, he knew Misty and I were up to no good. Down the hall we went where he spanked us. It was a playful spanking and no seriousness behind it at all. Shannon has a great sense of humor.

I have something already up my sleeve, but it shouldn't get us in to much trouble. I will let you know how it pans out when I return. I am going to do my best to tow the line. I am going to be in a house with a guy that is natural born spanker, and I will also be accountable for my actions when I get home.

Self Control

2010-09-25T18:05:00.005-04:00

Lately, I have had some major issues with self control. One issue is how easily I am angered and the other is sticking to my goals. I seriously can not make one week without digging a hole. When I get angry I just want to escape, or seriously break the rules. Just last week I had a session for trying to do things my way, not following rules and language. You think a bath brush would get my attention. It did...until I got angry.

Then it is like the good girl goes away and her evil twin takes over. I get a very, "I don't give a shit attitude." My language gets nasty as does my attitude. I then get the urge to flee. I think part of this is because I don't want to take it out on my family. If I can just get some space and think I can usually calm myself. This last week Thomas had me do a 1000 word essay on "Anger Management." I gave a brief description of what anger meant to me, ways to deal with anger, and then some more of my own thoughts.

Unfortunately, when I got into a tiff with my hubby today, it's like the essay went down the tubes. I didn't go off on him or get angry, but I did withdrawal. I wrote my report early to Thomas. I meant to put it in draft, but accidentally hit the send button. I am sure that report just dug my grave. I meant to send it after I cooled down, but you can't retrieve it back. I took a ride out to Picnic Island and chilled. While I was there I thought about the situation and how to deal with it. I think the best thing is to leave it alone unless he brings it back up. I had some time to process and I think I can deal with him without getting angry.

My second issue I am struggling with is sticking to my goals with my diet. I am allowed one diet Pepsi a day. Lately, because I am so burnt on rabbit food I have been grabbing a soda in place of food. The bad thing is it fills me up, also when I go to eat I am cramping up horribly. Today, I asked that this be put on my "not allowed" list. I already struggle putting in the calories I need without filling up on empty ones.

I am going to try harder getting these issues under control. I am sure someone else I know is going to make sure too.

Fantasy Football Over The Knee League & Update

2010-09-22T16:44:00.009-04:00

This last week I didn't do to bad. I lost by 10 pts. to Red Butt Enablers. I'm still ranked second in the league. I switched some things up this week. I put a few people on the bench and traded a player due to injury. It's funny on the weekends, I check the fantasy football stats more than watching the actual game. Things have been so busy lately I have a hard time actually sitting down to watch. I have to admit when the weather is warm it is hard to get in to it. I associate football with the fireplace roaring, good snacks and watching the nasty weather outside. In Florida, I look outside and see people swimming. It is a change but eventually I will adapt.

I had a great time in Orlando. I changed my hair color a bit and put a new picture on facebook. It was exploding with comments. When I left home I was a blonde, now I am a red head. I think it matches my naughty personality. Just as long as it doesn't get used as a guideline when I am getting spanked.

Luke's promotion party was fabulous. I was very honored to be a part of it. In the morning I was a little freaked because I had a lot of food and only three of us to carry it. One being my eleven year old daughter. I wore heels despite my sprained ankle. I just endured the pain. I sprained it a few weeks back when I was riding my scooter. I was turning around in a dirt parking lot and my daughter was on the back. I didn't want to dump us so I put my foot out. I was wearing flip flops and it rolled my ankle. I ignored it for three weeks before finally going to get an x-ray. I just need to baby it a little while until the tendons heal up and the swelling goes down. I only went to the doctors because I wanted to make sure nothing was broken.

During the ceremony I was awarded a pin that was one rank above Luke. It was announced I was the boss. I was feeling pretty high and mighty until this person continued by saying, " This lady is a published author and has given me plenty of smiles." At this point I wanted to melt into the carpet. I shot my husband a look and he was laughing. Thankfully, he did not announce I write adult fiction. There were some very high ranking people and I didn't feel like answering questions. Sometimes, I like the anonymity of being Katia and keeping this part of my life a secret. In no means am I ashamed, but it's like politics and religion; they are both touchy subjects.

Resentment

2010-09-19T13:41:00.004-04:00

Last week wasn't so good. Have you ever had one of those times in a relationship you wished you weren't. I had one of those days. I made a huge mistake in our checkbook and I stressed severely over it. It's kind of crazy though, because he didn't get that mad. Why is it when you think they are going to blow a gasket they don't, and when you think it's no big deal it is?
Never quite understood that.

I had made up my mind a long time ago that I was done pushing Luke into something that he wasn't comfortable with. Lately though, there has been some tension and I so bad want to just hand him a paddle. Although, last time I tried that he wouldn't spank, and I think that hurt more than if he had. A couple times over the last few days because of this frustration, I have wanted to throw in the towel. I feel like why meet with someone to work on issues that Luke doesn't hold me accountable for any longer. When we argue, he backs down. I have pushed just to see if he would push back, and he doesn't. I have always been better a dominant than a submissive. Yet, there is this side that loves this lifestyle so much and knows I am a better person when the reins are pulled tight.

I struggle at times with resentment. He knows how important this is to me. Yet, he just can't go there. If I talk about it, he listens...but not really. I know for someone not wired it has to be hard. I just miss that connection you have after a spanking. It feels like all things are right with the world. I am going to approach him to ask for a GG. Maybe, it will ignite a spark. This next week I have some fun things planned. I'm going to Orlando to be a hair model for my stylist and I am throwing Luke's promotion party, which he gave me one week's notice to plan. I pulled it off though and should be nice.

Even though I am resentful and hurt at times, my love will never change for him. He is an amazing husband and best friend. I just wish he could get it....

OTK Fantasy Football

2010-09-14T16:02:00.009-04:00

I was invited this year to participate in Todd & Suzy's OTK Football League. I don't know much about players and stats, but I love to talk smack and bet. In fact, last year I bet on a few games with Misty and Shannon. They are Cowboy fanatics while I prefer the Raiders. This last Thanksgiving we made a bet to send implements and whoever lost had to be spanked with the combined ending scores. I lost! In a box were some implements and a Cowboy Christmas ornament. I think it was only like 37 swats, and Luke laughed the whole time. Shannon picks out nasty implements so I was not laughing as much.

The night of the draft I was clueless, but I had my hubby to help. One our friends that plays for the NFL was over and he gave me a little inside on some of the players. My picks did well this week, I won my first match against Fanny Smackers and placed 4th in the league with 65 pts. Red Butt Enablers took first with 99 pts. I am still not quite getting how the whole point system works, but I am sure by end of season I will.

My picks this year: Tom Brady (NE-QB)

Reggie Wayne ( IND-WR)

Percy Harvin (MIN-WR)

Marion Barber (DAL-RB)

Reggie Bush (NO-RB)

Dallas Clark (IND-TE)

Santana Moss (WAS-WR)

Mike Williams (TB-WR)

Mark Sanchez ( NYJ-QB)

Louis Murphy (OAK-WR)

Roy Williams (DAL-WR)

Kickers- Sebastian Janikowski (OAK-K)

Conner Barth ( TB-K)

Defense Special Teams is Tennessee

My opponents in the league-

Spanker's-

A.S.S.- Todd

Tampa Paddlers-Thomas

Munchkin's Master-Richard Windsor

Tail Blazer-Ken

Red Butt Enablers- Chase

Steel Paddle-Publikk

Spankee's

Suzy's Spanking Union- Suzy

The Cookie Jar- Cookie

RBG Tush Toasters- Celine

Whatever-Cowgirl

Funny Smackers

Bratass- Me ( This name was given by Thomas since I couldn't think of one.)

The prize is a nasty looking paddle by Cane-iac. You can check out Cookie's or Todd's blogs they have pictures on there. I don't know how well I will do, but it will be fun checking the computer for updates, talking smack, and maybe even make a few spanking bets. :)

I will update how I am doing during the season.

My First Party

2010-09-10T23:53:00.000-04:00

I wanted to clear up a few things about my last post. I appreciate the comments left by Barely Pink, Princess and Poppy. Thomas has always respected any hard lines I have had in the past. He has never pushed me into anything I was not comfortable with. In fact, he has helped me overcome many fears that I dealt with in my past and with great patience I might add. He did spank my thighs like I asked him not to, but I was more at fault by not just speaking up. Had I explained myself I am sure he would have listened. Instead, I let my anger stand in the way. I am not the easiest to discipline. I am very stubborn, strong willed, and do at times have trouble accepting authority. I am grateful it was worked out even though I am sitting on a sore dupa.

Last week, I got a message from Thomas asking if I would like to go to a spanking party. I have always wanted to experience one, so my answer was immediately, yes! First came the job of getting permission from Luke. I wasn't sure how he'd feel with me going to a party where I might get spanked by several males. I was pretty nervous just asking him. In the past, when I was apprehensive about asking him something I would write an e-mail, unfortunately there wasn't really a lot of time to wait for his response. When I brought him in the bedroom to talk with him, I just spit it out quickly before I lost my nerve. He asked a few reasons why I would like to go and then agreed. I was shocked, but in a good way.

When it came to the day of the party I don't know what made me more nervous; riding in a car with Thomas for any length of time, or the party. He had already made it clear he had no problem pulling the car over if I misbehaved. Other than being a little fidgety in my seat we didn't have to pull over.

The party was hosted by Todd & Suzy from American Spanking Society. They are both wonderful people and made you feel welcome the moment you arrived. After introductions to other people that were attending and idle chit chat we played Spankopoly. I read the rules, but I knew I would learn faster by just watching. The game was so much fun that by my first time getting spanked it wasn't that big of a deal. I always knew when I was going to get spanked though, because when I landed on the wrong square Suzy would say, "Ut oh."

It think I was in awe with the massive amounts of implements that were brought. Everyone had their own bag of toys. I got to experience quite a few of them. One that was most interesting was the aluminum paddle that Thomas brought, he put it in the freezer to get cold. I took three swats with it, definitely not one I would want to receive a lot of swats with.

One of the funnier moments of the night was when Suzy and I went to test out JaxSpanker's collection of canes and a buggy whip. We were both bent over the bed holding hands, when he was above me with the cane as it struck she was the one to say, 'ouch' instead of me. I think she could feel the vibration through my hand. It was absolutely hilarious.

I did manage to break an implement that belonged to one of the gals that attended. A small brush was broken on my dupa while playing. I always knew I was hard headed, but apparently I have a hard dupa too. I will be mailing her a new one, and of course, including another implement for her enjoyment.

I met a lot of really great people and had a fantastic time. It still amazes me at times how comfortable you can feel around people you just met. I really think it's because we share an interest that can only be understood by those who do the ttwd. I am hoping that I will get to attend more of these parties in the future.

Spanking Gone Wrong

2010-09-09T15:52:00.010-04:00

I wanted to post about my first spanking party I attended, but first I need to talk about the last few days. Wednesday, I was to meet Thomas for a session. I woke up in a mood, not even sure why. It is funny because I posted on my profile on facebook, "Have you ever woke up in a "mood" and you aren't sure why?" It amazed me how many woman responded. I wanted to cancel, but decided that would be rude last minute.

I knew I had a pretty serious session, because on the way home from the party I admitted taking way over my amount of prescribed diet pills. I wanted to make sure I wasn't tempted. I also was going to get a "guilt" spanking for getting my girlfriend spanked. I am not going to go into the details why. She got spanked and I felt I should too. I also was getting a reminder for my poor reports. I had asked him before the spanking to please not spank my thighs and he agreed.

After we got to the usual place and I was bared, the spanking began. I am not going to lie it was intense, but then he started to spank my thighs. I wanted to say something and started too... but I am trying hard not to top. What it did do was piss me off. To the point no matter how hard he spanked I didn't care. I put myself somewhere else and let him have at it. I should have told him right off I was pissed. My anger is something we have worked really hard on controlling during a spanking. Instead I dropped him back at work and confided in another disciplinarian.

I did text him and we agreed to meet again today. Later that evening I explained where my anger was coming from in an e-mail. Here is the thing- my husband has allowed me to get spanked. I can explain bruises on my behind, but on my thighs that is beyond his scope of understanding. I know my husband and if he sees them he will be livid. He would look at it as a beating not a spanking. Even though we all know that this is sometimes used in a spanking. It gets your attention real quick when you are getting out of place, or sometimes is used as penalty shots. However, my husband tends to lean on the vanilla side and would not understand. I did state in my e-mail I don't mind if he spanks my thighs with his hands, which hurt like hell...just don't bruise me.

Today when we met I already knew I was going to get my ass worn out. I wasn't really angry anymore, because I am not one to stay mad at people, and I wasn't really angry with Thomas, but more at myself for not telling him. He brought a large black polyurethane paddle to do his talking. I would call today's spanking a battle of wills and I lost.

It didn't take too long into the spanking when the pain was setting in and I fought to get out of position. Thomas only locked down harder and continued spanking. When he stopped to let me catch my breath I decided I wanted up. He was not ready to let me up and again I fought to get out of position. So, the spanking continued and this went on several times during the session. He would also ask me questions during the spanking, and when I wouldn't answer, or couldn't find the right words- yup, it continued.

Even though my backside is not looking so pretty, I felt it was resolved. Afterwards I kind of felt like a failure for not just accepting the spanking and fighting so hard. I was a mess driving him back to work. Thomas did his best to comfort me and said very positive things about me. I think even though these last few days were not pleasant, I learned somethings about myself and Thomas. I know in the future when I have a problem I am going to tell him in the moment and not let time pass.

Out On The Table

2010-08-28T14:40:00.007-04:00

As you know things have been kind of put on the back burner with Luke and I. I have talked in the past that he has agreed to let me seek out from others to feel that gap. I have by no means given up that someday our DD relationship will be strong once again. For Luke, he just can't go there right now and I respect him for that. We have a wonderful marriage even without the spanking or order of hierarchy. Yet, I still wish to maintain my goals and I would like to remain on a more submissive side, because bossy me can cause much friction. We are both natural leaders which can tend to clash at times. I still want to be an example even if he isn't the one to discipline. I know some will not agree and that is fine...it works for us. I started this blog to be able to talk freely about my journey and lately I have not been able too.

While he was gone this last time I met with Niko, some may be familiar with him, he has video's on spanking tube.com. He is a wonderful person and we still keep in touch. Lately, our schedules have conflicted a lot so I looked for someone more local. That is when I contacted Thomas. I have been meeting with him for some time on a regular basis. He has been kind enough to keep my identity quiet for a long time. So, in some of his posts he referred to me as Willow. It's not like I was trying to hide anything because I am not ashamed. I just wasn't quite ready to share with everyone. I had a misunderstanding with a fellow blogger and it left me gun shy for quite some time.

I will still continue to post about the progress with Luke and I, but I also want to be able to share my feelings on the sessions I receive from Thomas or Niko. Both these gentlemen are good people, and I feel very cared for and respected when I meet with them.

Thanks For The Concern!

2010-08-21T10:39:00.007-04:00

Thanks for all those who visited and commented on the scooter. I am still enjoying it thoroughly, the newness has not worn off at all. In fact, if I don't get to ride it at least once a day I get a little grumpy. I think it's the sheer fact of being able to stick the key in and escape. I appreciate all the concerns about the helmet. I am now wearing it ALL the time, but this last week took a lot of convincing.

I had been talking with Niko about the scooter and not wearing a helmet... he was not so pleased. The next morning in my e-mail were pictures of a busted open head- saying, "Dumb,dumb see the the head- see no helmet." I couldn't enjoy the pictures by myself, so I forwarded them to Misty so she could enjoy a moment where she felt like she wanted to puke.

I even met with a disciplinarian this last week that gave me a spanking as an incentive to wear my helmet, but it still didn't convince me. In the moment as I was feeling the pain- I was convinced, but before I left I had already made up my mind I wasn't going to comply. I can be pretty stubborn when it comes to doing something I really want to to do.

Later that evening, I hopped on my scooter jetting down to Picnic Island. A place Luke used to forbid me to go, but since we got the scooters he doesn't seem to mind if I ride there. It is a nice ride with not to much traffic. Some large trucks, but I think the same truckers are use to seeing me because they wave now. I was on my way home when a black Honda came in behind me. He was riding me a little so I sped up. I should have just pulled over because I was actually doing 20 over the posted speed. I was just about to turn into the turn lane when I checked my mirror. I don't usually do this, but thank goodness I did. The Honda tried to pass me in the turn lane. He locked them up skidding a bit, I did the same. It happened so fast. He looked at me...goes around spraying me with rocks and takes off. I am like jelly on my scooter, I was shaking so bad I could barely pull into the driveway. I was in shock that he was in that big of a hurry he almost snuffed me out- had he hit me a helmet wouldn't have made a difference.

When I got home I told my son about it. It had me so freaked I really didn't know if I wanted to ride again. He convinced me that it's like falling off a horse I needed to get back on. After I calmed down we went on a ride together down to the beach. I started to relax and enjoy myself after awhile. Yes, I wore my helmet and will from now on! It is sad it took a close call to convince me, but I am grateful I get a chance to make the right choice from now on.

My New Toy

2010-08-18T13:46:00.009-04:00

About a year ago I asked my husband if I could get a motorcycle and I got a big fat, "No!" We have had one car for over a year because I sold mine after I got out here. We didn't think there would be a need for two. Well, our schedules have become extremely hectic. So, I decided to ask for a scooter. He liked them so much he bought himself one too. It is only 49cc which means I don't need a motorcycle endorsement and another great thing is there is no helmet law in Florida. I only have to wear a helmet and a reflector vest when I go to his job...they have their own laws. I can't tell you how much fun I have had these last two days, I put 70 miles on the first day. It gets up and moves!

I have a few friends that have disagreed about the helmet thing. I don't mind wearing it most the time, but when I am a back road by myself I like the wind in my hair. To me the helmet is cumbersome. Luke doesn't seem to care if I wear it or not. Except, when I ride at night. This thing has already saved on the little errands- since it cost $3.00 to fill and goes about 300 miles on a tank. I stick to the back roads and stay off the major intersections. The drivers are so bad here watching out for any two wheeled transportation. I swear I can go ten over the speed limit and still have people riding my ass.

Luke has done a lot of playful swats, but other than that nothing to report yet...I keeping hoping though.

Time Away

2010-08-15T08:41:00.007-04:00

Saturday I took off for my day away. At first driving away I was so excited, but truthfully as the day went on I missed my family.

I spent the first part of my day shopping for the kids first day of school gift. It has a been a tradition I always get them a card and a small gift to start their school year. It is our way to encourage them for a good year and it is something they look forward to. It is much easier with two left than when I had five in school.

I had planned to do a little hiking, but the park I chose was pretty wet from rain and had some shady characters hanging about so I decided to skip it.

I have never driven to St.Pete on my own so I put the directions in my Garmin- which would not accept them. I am glad I have an IPhone because I was able to use the map quest on it. The problem is with the phone it doesn't call off directions. I started to get lost after the first set of directions. I finally spotted the freeway I was looking for and figured eventually I would see signs where I wanted to go. I knew what exit I needed to take so I watched for that. It didn't help any when I had to make spilt decisions which way to go as other cities popped up. Eventually, I found my exit-from there it was a piece of cake.

The hotel I picked was one that looked really good online, but different when you actually got there. It was hectic checking in because they had four weddings scheduled there that day. The room was nice- again smaller than it appeared online. I had a nice view though- from my bed I could view the bay and from the balcony the beach. The one thing I really wanted was some peace and quiet to write. The internet would not work with the code they gave me so I ended up taking my computer down to the lobby to see if they could help. Bottom line it never worked, I think now it was a good thing because it kept me from being distracted. I was able to proofread a few stories and wrote eight new pages on one that I had been working on. So, I didn't have to leave to eat I had pizza delivered.

I got up early and walked the beach when there was only a few people there, it was nice to get my feet wet and enjoy the silence. I left early to get back to my family, like I said I missed them. It was nice to have a little me time. Next trip, I would love to find a cabin in the woods- who knows maybe in another state.

Hodge Podge

2010-08-08T18:56:00.009-04:00

I had an opportunity to meet Cookie and have lunch together. It was nice since I have already met Thomas, and with Cookie I could just relax and not worry that I might be hauled out of the restaurant for a spanking. We enjoyed some quality girl time chatting about families and of course the ttwd. I hope to be able to meet with her again. She is very sweet and made me feel comfortable. I came home to a nice surprise, my hubby had done the dishes and was working on the laundry. I am thinking I need to escape more often.

Speaking of...I can't wait this weekend is my "me" day. I am so looking forward to getting away. Things have been crazy around here. They are only going to busier as school starts. I put my foot down the other night. Everyone is always throwing plans in last minute, including my lovely hubby. So I went to office depot and bought a large desk calendar. It is now hanging up, and I told the family that they will submit their schedules to me and if I don't write it on the calendar, it isn't happening. There are always going to be last minute things, but at least they are trying to make a go at this.

As far as spankings, Luke has been more on the playful side. The other day he was walking down the stairs and I smacked him. I walked into the bathroom thinking he left, he walked in with a plastic spoon. He starts whacking me with it, you could hear the kids laughing in the living room. I told him to stop...I swear my face was far more red than I am sure my bum was. I really could have used a stress spanking with no kids around.

These last few weeks, good grief. I had to fly my son back to Oregon for a funeral. He had a horrible layover in Vegas so I stayed up all night texting with him. It was the same on the way home- I decided I am to old to be staying up all night and trying to function like a normal human being the next day. My oldest daughter went to Santa Cruz this last weekend, the one night I turn my phone off, she broke down. This weekend she went back to Southern California for the X-games. Another call... she got t-boned as someone ran a red light totaling her car. She has minor injuries, but looking at the car it's a miracle she is alive. She will get checked out better back home. We have been calling, texting non stop. These last few weekends I feel like I have aged 10 years.

Slow On The Homefront

2010-08-04T08:28:00.006-04:00

I haven't had much to say because things have been slow at the home front. Unfortunately, DD is pretty much dead for Luke and I. I am however being patient and trying to be a good example.

Last night though, I know he still has the fire deep down because I whacked him as he was walking down the stairs. He chased after me right into the bedroom. He picked up the brush and started swinging from north forty. Why do guys think that when there is fabric covering your rear they have to swing harder? Like that small amount of fabric is going to create a magic buffer around our backsides. I had him laughing because a few times I was saying, "ouch" before he even connected. In my mind though I knew it was going to hurt. This was the first time in a long time he has spanked. While it stung like the dickens, it warmed my heart.

After talking with a dear friend last night he told me to write him a letter. He told me not to give up on something so important to me. I haven't made a huge ruckus with Luke because since he gave me permission, I have been spanked a few times by someone else. I struggle with my decision to even write him. He loves the HOH part, but the spanking is such a chore to him. I know why-partly, because he can not stand to hurt me. He feels like crap if I bruise, and if I cry... I break his heart. I think we are going to have to take baby steps back. I am going to ask for a few GG's just to light a small spark. If he still can't discipline that is okay, because I do have permission to be spanked by another. I think more than anything I miss the connection that comes from being spanked by him....the warm fuzzy feeling. I have noticed since we stopped we have been bickering more, which is not like us because we just don't fight. I have a wonderful husband and a great marriage. Unfortunately, once you have a taste of this lifestyle you desire it even more. I still have hope...I am never one to throw in the towel so quickly.

Follow Up On The Urge

2010-07-28T07:52:00.002-04:00

I think my urge to get away started with my mom who was driving my sister back to California. I grew up in the Santa Cruz mountains, and I still have a lot of family there. Had I been in Oregon, I wouldn't have hesitated to jump in and drive down. From where I live in Oregon, it's about a 7 to 8 hr drive... depending how you drive. *smiles*

Yesterday, I spent part of the day researching where I might want to go. I decided to stay somewhat local. I have been really wanting to do some hiking, but Florida is not a mountainous state. I found a place in Thonontosassa that looks to have some beautiful trails along the river. So, maybe I will have a chance to view a few gators. It is a state park, so I won't be wondering the wilderness by myself. Although, I don't mind doing that.

Then I went on a search for accommodations for the evening. I wanted to camp, but I am not real fond of all the lovely bugs that Florida has to offer. Growing up in Santa Cruz I spent countless hours on the beach. The ocean is near and dear to me, so I decided to find something on the beach. I found a beautiful hotel in St.Petersburg and booked a room over looking the ocean. The price was steep, but after talking with my hubby- apparently he thinks I am worth it. This place has a few restaurants in the hotel and a bar & grill on the beach close by, so once I am there I don't have to leave. I can enjoy lounging by the pool and walking up and down miles of beach.

I am looking forward to this- Luke and I were talking and I might just make this a monthly thing to do for myself. This is going to be a great time to collect my thoughts, read, write, and do absolutely nothing. I hoping next time they let me leave for a few days. My husband acts like I am going to be gone for a month, asking me to stock them up. I will make sure to have a few dinners prepared and make a huge breakfast before my departure. They are way to spoiled!

Feeling The Urge To Run

2010-07-26T13:59:00.002-04:00

Lately, I have been feeling the urge to run, to escape. To get in my car and just drive. When I lived in Oregon, and I felt the need to just get some alone time, I would throw my back pack in the back of the SUV and go. Sometimes I would just take a long drive in the mountains, stop and hike. Other times, I would be even more spontaneous say the hell with it, and drive to California to visit family; or even go the opposite way and drive to Idaho.

I love living in Florida, but I am starting to feel trapped. I don't know the area, and I can't just get in the car and drive. We sold our other car when I moved out, because it sat for a year in Oregon with no one driving it. I told my husband last night we need another car. He was open to the idea and started looking.

I am not sure if this feeling is from trying so hard lately to be submissive, that I feel my independence is being squelched. Because when I am on my adventures I am accountable to no one, and my time is mine. I also talked with Luke maybe just leaving one night a month to either stay in a hotel somewhere, or go hike and camp somewhere for the night. I know some S/O's might worry, but with my background I am quite capable of taking care of myself and Luke is aware of that.

We are pretty booked for the rest of this month, but I am going to start researching and try to make my first escape in the first part of August.

Trash Talk

2010-07-23T14:09:00.009-04:00

Wikipedia-Profanity is a word, expression, gesture, or social behavior that is socially constructed or interpreted as insulting, rude, vulgar , desecrating, or showing disrespect.

I was reading Thomas's blog, and I thought about how profanity for me has always been an issue. I try to be careful around my kids, but because I am so comfortable with these words, occasionally I slip. It made me wonder what made these words constituted as profanity and the origin of these words.

The "F" word- there were a few things about its origin. One stated the Puritans used it, and it stood for, "Fornicating under carnal knowledge." Another stated, it meant, "Fornication under Kings consent." Apparently, cards were laid by the doors that had permission to have sex.

Shit- came about after the toilet was invented by a man known as Thomas Crapper.

Bastard-A child who's birth lacks legitimacy.

Bitch-A term for female canines.

There are other such words considered as vulgar, but since we use most of these in erotic writing I see no harm. Also, DD dirty words that I posted about- fine, whatever, and no! I think the word, "can't" should be added, since that one has recently landed me in some hot water.

Today these are most commonly used when displeased, in disbelief, or directed at an individual. I still never really found out what constituted these as "bad" words, other than religious views or personal morals. I did however find a study on Wikipedia that stated,"That swearing is common when feeling pain, and it can actually function as a pain reliever."

I think the psychologist that stated this didn't practice DD, because last time I cussed during a spanking, the pain only got worse. For me, it is something I will probably struggle with for a good long time, and for me it will be associated with pain.

On a good note- Luke will not be leaving! Yippee! Well... at least for now. *smiles*

Streaks of Naughtiness

2010-07-18T07:03:00.008-04:00

Lately we have had several parties here where I live. People leaving back to the country they came from, relocating with jobs, and others leaving to live somewhere cheaper. Friday night was a large party to say goodbye to a dear family, for me it was an amazing experience because people from countries all over the world came to send them well wishes. The food was plentiful as were the drinks. I am not a huge drinker, however that evening I put down some alcohol. Not enough to be trashed, but definitely buzzed. I didn't have to drive, in fact, from where the party was held I could walk around a corner and be home. Even though I enjoyed myself I was in at a decent hour because my daughter has a gymnastic camp all this week and we have to get up very early. Yesterday, we had another party at the place where I live. They throw parties every few months so people have a chance to meet new people. One of the guys made his signature 'sex on the beach' punch. It is very tasty, but last year I learned my lesson- it is one of those things that taste harmless, but will kick your booty. So this year, I sipped on a glass until it got warm and dumped it.

Luke has to leave again in August for another trip, he will be gone a month...hopefully not longer. About the time we try to get the ball rolling he has to leave. I am used to it, but I don't like it. In a few posts back I mentioned his approval for discipline outside the marriage. So I have been keeping in contact with some one who has been doing their own monitoring of my actions. So he is aware of my loose lips, when I don't make bed time, and all my other little faults. This person told me not to have a drink yesterday because I partied the evening before. I could have easily lied and told him I didn't, but then trust would be a problem. I think sometimes it is hard for someone looking in from the outside, because they only see your faults...because that is what you report. They really don't get to see the good side. You have to prove yourself- where as others who around you all the time just see this as streaks of naughtiness. After time you feel guilty for always feeling like a disappointment, or a pain in the ass. That is when I have to dig deep and try to remember why I am doing this...for Luke. To try to straighten out those underlying streaks of naughtiness so when he is home, he isn't dealing with a brat. I struggle because I am a pleaser by nature and when I feel like a burden it is so easy to run from a situation even when I know it would not be in my best interest. Good thing disciplinarians are tenacious and patient because they won't let you throw in the towel so easily. My only wish is that they could have a crystal ball to see all the times I am good. *smiles*

Choosing Your Words Wisely

2010-07-13T08:40:00.005-04:00

I think some words just take on a whole new meaning when you enter this lifestyle. Since when did- 'whatever' and 'fine' become so deadly to one's backside. Okay, I will admit I might have a different tone in my voice when I say them, but it's not like you are cussing. You don't even need to necessarily speak these words, because even using them in written form is considered just as dangerous. Now some cuss words I use to say before we entered this agreement are considered outlawed. What is up with that?

I do not always slow down and think before I speak. I am sure some of you that know me are probably shaking their heads up and down. *laughs*
It seems my mouth lands me in more trouble than any other rules that have come into play. I have often joked with Misty that I need a 'mute' button or a 'rewind' button for those times I spurt things out, which in my case is quite often. I guess it boils down to self control... or in my case lack of it!

It makes me wonder though if this is just another excuse for the guys to have a crack at our backsides?

Ramble After Thought

2010-07-10T08:17:00.009-04:00

Luke and I do have an incredibly strong bond. We have been through so many things together which have only strengthen our relationship. We do have great trust in each other, and jealousy has never been a factor for us.

I just want to thank all the support shown here-I would like to personally thank Dante, Bonnie, PK, Thomas, Alujna, Janet, Measha, Ronnie, Florida Dom and Hermione for taking the time to comment, it meant a lot to me. My hubby doesn't read my blogs- mainly he just doesn't have time, so I copied it with all the comments and sent to his e-mail. It sparked another great conversation for us.

Unconventional-Ramble

2010-07-05T01:00:00.001-04:00

I think what drew me to this lifestyle was the need for change in our marriage. We had a wonderful marriage, it just had two leaders. Luke would say,"You can't fit two heads through the same hole." I have always been drawn towards spanking, so DD caught my interest.

DD is different for everyone, and every couple is unique, but some try to label DD in certain ways. What I am learning is what works for one, may not work for another. When we first started, I wanted to jump head first expecting it to be perfect, which isn't the case if one person is vanilla. I know for myself that I have certain goals and expectations- which my hubby is trying very hard to help me with. It is hard in those times when the relationship is like a roller coaster with up and downs, inconsistencies and doubts.

With our relationship because my hubby travels a lot, he has given me permission to be spanked outside the marriage- this come with guidelines. I know some people frown on this or might judge me, but for us it works. It doesn't make my hubby any less of man, change my love and respect for him- to me this is a huge gift. For me, it shows trust that I will make the right choices and it helps us maintain what we worked on.

I have so many changes I want to see in myself to be the woman Luke deserves. I have changed many things, but some are just going to take time and patience. I will say this has been one decision despite the tears, doubts, fears, and pain that I am happy I stumbled upon.

Happy 4th of July

2010-07-04T12:00:00.003-04:00

Hope you enjoy good food, family, and fireworks! Maybe some will get lucky and feel fire elsewhere.

Katia

Think Before You Act

2010-06-30T16:19:00.007-04:00

Dr. Phil-"When you choose your behavior and your thoughts, you choose the consequences that flow from those choices."

I read this statement last night and couldn't think of a better statement that applies to me. I can't tell you how many times since I was a child I was told that I need to slow down and think! It has even carried into my adult life, but it's harder in a DD relationship...because now I am chastised for not slowing down to think.

Sometimes, I think it was easier before DD because I would get chastised, but pain was never attached it. How do you change traits that seem to be ingrained in your personality without being bent over counting carpet fibers on a consistent basis?

My personality is not demure or submissive, I wish to be more submissive at some point, but it's going to be a challenge. Especially, since I tend to leap and then think about it after the fact. I am in trouble right now for this very thing. Assuming instead of asking or thinking... it's also been put-I tend to stretch my inch into a mile. I'm not trying to be obstinate or even disobedient necessarily. I think my problem is accepting total control. I want to hang on to that thread of dominance, and I am not sure why when I have seen the benefits of trusting someone else to help guide me on the straight and narrow.

This is going to be something I will be working hard to change, because the more I accept dominance, the more I am going to have to learn to trust. It also means unless I find a way to slow down and think-I am going to be bent over a lot.

One Year Blogging Anniversary

2010-06-26T16:02:00.007-04:00

I can't believe it has been one year! I looked for one year anniversary pictures, but this picture jumped out at me. A girl dressed very naughty with a halo. It reminded me of myself. I have that halo, though my hubby would say mine is bent.

I never imagined how much this blog would bless me. I started it for just a few friends and a place to write about the adventures of my DD roller coaster relationship. I didn't have any idea how massive the spanking world was, and just how many wonderful friendships I would form.

I have received a wealth of advice and support over this last year and I am truly grateful. I look forward to many more years blogging and forming new friendships. Thanks to all of you that made my first year so amazing!

Under the Weather

2010-06-24T17:28:00.005-04:00

I have wanted to post for the last few days, but I have been under the weather. I had a botched tooth extraction 10 years ago, and Tuesday it became fully infected. I started researching dentist since I didn't have one. This started about 4:00 am because the pain was excruciating. By seven-thirty, I had left messages for two dentists and an oral surgeon. Talking with a friend he suggested I go to emergency since they probably couldn't do anything with an infection. I was almost to the hospital when a dentist called back and said to come right in.

The moment I walked in the staff was so incredibly accommodating. I had my seventeen year old son and ten year old daughter with me, they offered them snacks and a place to hang while they checked me out. The nurse assigned to me totally comforted me and assured me they would take good care of me. The doctor told me they would need to do oral surgery because the infection was probably already running through my system. They gave me this stuff to drink where I remember nothing about the surgery or anything that happened the rest of that day. My son who had only driven my vehicle a few times was left to drive us home in a very high traffic area. They stopped for lunch- though I remember none of this. My son told me he got me a root beer float and I tried to suck it through the spoon. He said I ate two bites and was back asleep. Again, I remember none of this.

The last few days have been a fog. My son has been taking really good care of me while my hubby was at work. He has been my nurse, chef and driver. I do feel bad for him because at times I gave him hell when it came time for the icing part. It was like two people negotiating during a trial. I would usually win on just sheer will of refusing.

This next couple weeks I am light duty. No strenuous exercise, no heavy lifting. The upside of all this I have lost three pounds! The downside-In a few weeks they will put in the implants from the teeth they had to remove and I will get to go through this all over again. Not such much looking forward to that.

You Know You Just Need It...

2010-06-19T08:20:00.006-04:00

Is it just me, or is there times that you just know you need a spanking?
It's like something little inside nags you. Maybe it is stress, maybe you know your attitude needs some adjusting, or maybe it's just because.
If you do feel that need are you comfortable asking your significant other to spank you?
There have been a few times recently for me where I wish he would just point to the bedroom and throw me over his lap for a good ol' hand spanking. I know it's a fantasy because for one the kids, and two Luke has bad wrists so hand spankings are very rare. I have had a reminder on the books for the last two weeks, part of me wants to ask him to please give this to me, than the other half says it's his decision when he'll spank. I did get a birthday spanking which was nice, although I would have preferred it not to have been on a wet bottom with a cane. We just had gotten out from the hot tub. Yup, that one stung!
BTW- I would like to thank Misty and Shannon for that lovely gift. She knew I needed a quiet implement so they sent that to me this last week. Okay, the implement may be quiet, but the receiver of this gift is having a hard time being quiet.
So now I wait... I am not a patient person by nature, so if I have to wait to much longer I may just grab him by the hand, lead him to the bedroom, pull out the implement box and say, " Please spank me!"

Meeting

2010-06-13T20:29:00.008-04:00

Today I had the chance to meet one of our fellow blogger's. I am not going to lie I was very apprehensive. This gentleman I view as a true spanker man. I am speaking about Thomas.

We were both running errands in the same general vicinity, so we decided to meet. I sat in my car at first trying to get the courage to get out of my car, I knew I wasn't going to be spanked, but it's that one small pit of fear that rests in your belly. I decided to go in the store and wait for him. I browsed around waiting for him to enter. I knew him from pictures, but he had never seen me except for a small picture on my vanilla blog. As he was walking up he looked a lot less threatening then he did in his pictures and video's. He still carried a presence of watch yourself. Neither one of us found what we were looking for but we browsed the store. We ended up standing in the kitchen hardware section. The walls were lined with spatula's, spoons- plastic and wooden all within arms reach. There we had a conversation about various topics. Although, spanking was the main topic. At times when I got nervous and I would rearrange the things surrounding me. At one point he asked me if I planned on buying those items I was rearranging. Okay, who wouldn't be nervous knowing if I misbehaved or said the wrong thing I could be escorted out the door for a spanking, or if he might just reach up, grab an implement and spank me on the spot. We ended up moving our conversation outside into the heat and humidity. Personally, I think my shuffling items had got to him. *smiles*

I really enjoyed the chance to get to meet him. I am glad it was under good circumstances and not for a spanking. Who knows if I'll be so lucky next time. Some of you are thinking why wouldn't you want to be spanked by him...to tell you the truth I am not sure. Today, it was just nice to get to know him.

Danger Everywhere

2010-06-12T14:48:00.006-04:00

Yesterday morning I had a golf date with my husband, we had a really nice time despite the heat and humidity. For not playing for quite some time I shot three under par, and beat my hubby by five strokes. We are both competitive, but I'm thankful he isn't an ass if I win... which is nice. We get to the 18th hole and I had a pretty good drive, then all the sudden my ball hits something on the fair way, bounces up and rolls a few more yards. My husband catches up to me with the cart and we head down to my ball. This is what it bounced off of... A soft shell turtle. The turtle was not amused when I bent down to get a picture with my phone. My hubby told me to be careful because he could take a nice chunk out of my thigh.

It is amazing the things you run into on the courses in Florida. The last time we golfed, I went to retrieve my ball and almost grabbed a gardner snake. I know they aren't aggressive, but it could have been another kind. I now use my club to retrieve balls. Another time I shanked a ball towards a pond, started to head towards it. It looked like it was by a shredded tire- nope alligator. He got to keep that one. I did great yesterday with my attitude and mouth. I slipped one word-my husband smacked me with the handle of his club with a warning look. How is it they can always find something handy around to get your attention?
We are just never safe.

Exasperated!

2010-06-08T16:26:00.004-04:00

Sometimes doing the ttwd can be so frustrating! I am on the mend, but definitely not back on my game. I still get tired pretty easy. I was finally able to start cleaning my carpets, since last week I was grounded from cleaning anything. I am taking it slow that way I don't relapse completely. My husband comes in and I am sitting at the computer. My creative juices were running through my veins and I got a lot of writing done when I was resting. I tell him about my day around the house before I need to run him back to work. I guess I was justifying being on the computer since that has been an issue between us lately.

I am running him back to work when I tell him I am withdrawing cash to pay for my daughter's gymnastic fees. He was surprised at the amount, he asked if it was for her camps and I informed him no just monthly dues. I told him it went up when she moved to the next level. He asks me to please go home and do a break down on the bills. First off, we usually sit down together to do them...which I dread because this is never a fun time. I try telling him what is usually automatically withdrawn on the first and what two bills I always pay on the second half of the month. The rest I base on due date and how our month is playing out with what 's coming up in our life. He starts to get frustrated and tells me that is not what he is asking me to do. He wants a breakdown what we pay on the first of the month and what we pay on the second half of the month. I again try to explain that it depends on the month and if there is any change with his pay. He starts to get angry and tells me just to forget it. I again tell him, I will do it. I tell him I will give the best break down I can.

He is still angry and starts pointing his finger to emphasise his point. He did this because I am Italian and I talk with my hands. I was not flailing them or pointing them at him, it was just hand gestures. UGH! So I drop him off at work, I'm pissed and slam my purse on the seat and get in the drivers seat. He goes to the back grabs his bags and tells me he'll see me tonight.

I know for a fact this is going to come back on me, that I had an attitude or I can't just do what he asked. WHATEVER! I had no attitude, I was trying my best to not let the inflictions in my voice change, but yes I was getting pissed. So tonight before he gets home I will do my best to do what he asks even if it is not what we do just to satisfy him. Sometimes being submissive and doing what's right when it goes against your grain is so tough. I am sure it won't be what he wanted, but oh well, I will do it to appease him and put this behind us. Mark my words, this is probably going to come up in my reminder this week. I am already dreading it because wicked is on the table, and he attached a number that is already freaking me out. I already pleaded for him to reconsider since I don't take wicked so well... not happening. I just wonder if I will get the cold shoulder tonight, or if he will just let this pass when I present him with what he asked for.
I think I will send him the link to Adam Lambert's song-"What Do You Want From Me? "

Grounded

2010-06-06T14:07:00.006-04:00

This was the joke of the day yesterday. See my family went to Busch Gardens and I got to stay home. Why? Because I'm still to sick and Luke didn't want me to get sicker. I know some of you are thinking, see you should have gone to the doctors. My reply- SHUT UP! *smiles*

I did how ever spend some time by the pool, that is where the joke started. Because I live at Payton Place everyone knows everything. I walked through the gates of the pool and they were shocked to see me. So my only response was, "I'm grounded." I did enjoy some time cooling off in the water and lunch with some girlfriends. I also joined Spankolife yesterday. That was an eye opening experience. I had some interesting chats, wrote a quick story, and found myself saying, "Oh my gosh" a lot. One gentleman even wanted my phone number when our chat froze...not! It is a fun place to chat with all kinds of people from different walks of life, I know I will visit there whenever I need a little spark in my day.

Because missing out on a fun day wasn't enough, I got myself in a tad of hot water. Luke took me to grab a sandwich last night. In general conversation I mentioned that I was behind updating my food journal and I had forgotten to take my meds. Nothing was said while we were eating. We get back in the car and I was informed I would be getting a reminder. I shivered because we had an understanding that each day missed meant a visit with wicked in the tune of at least thirty strikes. I am not kidding when I say I hate this implement and can not stay still for it. I tried biting into the pillow, standing, bending and laying flat out. I just don't take this implement well. I swear it cuts into you, and instantly bruises me. So I make it through the sixty when he announces I'm getting twenty more for not taking my meds. I get lectured about how I need to make myself a priority and get my head out of the computer. He said a few other things that almost hurt worse than the spanking. When he finished I was definitely in tears.

Later we had a talk about the chastising. I forget at times how my husbands personality can be when he is getting a point across, probably because I don't see this side of him often. I try really hard to keep my opinions to myself and not contradict his ways, or top. I tend to want to guide, where as I need to shut my mouth. I am learning, and I thank God for a patient man. If I am not better to his standards by Wednesday, then it's off to the docs. Well, Emergent Care since I have no doctor. No, I have not told him yet that I have no primary. I am thinking positive that I will be miraculously healed by then and we won't have to have that conversation. At this point I'm thinking don't ask, don't tell.

Speechless!

2010-06-04T18:44:00.009-04:00

My lovely neighbor texts me to see if I am making it to the pool tonight. See around 4:30 p.m. our pool becomes a mecca of different cultures from around the world. It's a lot of fun and never boring with many different languages being spoken. I tell her not feeling so hot and I am probably going to skip. She asks if she can bring me a book to read. Sure, why not. A little background on this neighbor. She is the sweetest person I have met. I swear she has not one mean bone in her body. Not long ago I suggested she get her hair done- and poof new woman....totally! A whole new lady has emerged and she is just a load of fun. She knows about my little writing secret and visits my blog. I hear her knock and yell for her to come in. She is holding a plastic bag and this is what is inside-
Alright then! It even has pictures. Apparently, she has been on Amazon ordering all sorts of books and plans on circulating them around our community. Got to love it. So in walks my hubby and sits down at the table with us. I hand him the book and say, "Look what I got to read." He is speechless, my husband is the master on comebacks. I look at him and say, "Practice makes perfect." He smiles and is still speechless. At this point I am falling apart laughing. I can not wait to read this book, even though I will boost I'm pretty skilled in that department....never to old to maybe learn a new trick I say. Well, as the books roll in I will keep you updated. Still laughing even writing this blog, my husband's expression was just priceless!

Update & Shout Out!

2010-06-02T15:51:00.000-04:00

I am already to dive headfirst back into the diet and exercise regime when I get hit with laryngitis/chest crap. Who gets sick in Florida in the summer months? Ugh! I am keeping up my food journal which isn't hard considering I am not wanting to consume much. I installed "Lose It" on my phone so I have no excuse for not having any pen and paper. As I am eating I just plug it in. I was going to walk the treadmill at least, but I get exhausted just climbing the stairs to my house. I was e-mailing with a friend and he said I should go see a doctor. Here's the problem, when Luke left this last trip I was instructed to find a new primary...well, I didn't. Which means I would have to go to emergency room to be seen. I have convinced Luke to let me try the over the counter drugs before I seek a professional, and I'm crossing my fingers I won't have to tell him I never found a primary. I am rarely sick and it's a pain to find a new doctor in a unfamiliar town. I'm really not in the mood to be chastised right now, but then again I guess I don't get a choice.

A good friend of mine took a step of bravery and made her blog public today. If you get a chance swing by and welcome her.

I couldn't resist posting this picture. My son walks in with a perfect handprint on his back. He was harrassing his little sister and this was the result. He might think twice next time.

Defeated!

2010-05-31T16:09:00.001-04:00

That is a word that doesn't enter my vocabulary very often. I am pretty much an optimist, and when I get knocked down I usually just brush off and continue on. Yesterday was a different matter. Since Luke has returned my diet and exercise regime has been lacking. Before he came home I was exercising twice a day and was strict with my food intake, recording everything. I have hypothyroidism and I have worked my ass off to get back down as far as I have. I am pretty close to being back where I originally started. Unfortunately, I have a thyroid that works when it pleases. So, I can exercise and diet all I want with no results...frustrating! Right now it's stuck and not moving.

Luke noticed my behavior first thing in the morning. I was due for a reminder but he switched it to a stress relief. I have been pretty good this last week. He had me laughing when he drew a smiley face on my rear with the lotion, and added a goatee. He didn't do a warm up and started right in with a large leather paddle...which made me stand straight up drawing a deep breath. He switched between leather and wood- which screws with the mind. Finally, ending with wicked which I despise because it always cuts into me. Ultimately, I was in tears and we had a great heart to heart talk. I am so much harder on my self, you know the saying we are our own worst enemy. He is going to check my food diaries, and I am expected to go do cardio first thing after I wake up. Since I despise wicked so much, that is what will be used if I sport a failure attitude.

I am happy to have Luke be my back up guy, and glad he knows how to get me out of my funk with humor and discipline.

All Things Spanko

2010-05-29T08:17:00.000-04:00

The first words out of the sales clerk's mouth was, "Who is going to get spanked?" In my mind I am thinking... sweet a fellow spanko. My response, "Hopefully myself and definitely my girlfriend." Because I bought two paddles, her scene varied a little different than mine. I am always on the look out for gifts for my gal pal. This put a big smile on her face and we chatted about ttwd for a brief moment. As I was going into another store, I spotted these brushes. They were in the shapes of flamingo's, parrots, cats and fish. I wondered if you were spanked by these little beauties if it would leave an impression on your butt. I didn't buy one...maybe next time.

It was my son's seventeenth birthday yesterday so we went to Bubba Gump's for dinner. As we were perusing through the gift store I spotted these license plates. The Bubba Gump logo replaces the 'o' in the word buttocks. They sold stickers so I had to buy a few for myself and friends.

The last item I spotted was a bikini top and bottom that were made entirely of candy. Like the candy necklaces you bought as a kid. It could be fun picking and choosing which ones to bite off. I took a picture, but the picture importer suddenly stopped working...go figure. You will just have to use your imagination.

Our Special Day

2010-05-26T08:13:00.001-04:00

Today is our Anniversary, we have been married 16 years. Today was our "church" anniversary, we also got married in the courthouse six months prior, but this is the day we celebrate. I am lucky to have married my best friend, because I never wanted to marry again. I had come from a messy marriage the first go around and truly hated men. When Luke and I got married I was extremely independent, no one would tell me what to do, and even though Luke is no small guy, if he got in my face I had no problem standing my ground. I think because we had developed a strong friendship first, through the years many of my shortcomings melted because of his kindness and extreme patience. My independence is good trait, because Luke has been gone many times through our marriage and I took over raising our family in his absence.
These last couple years since we incorporated the DD, our marriage has blossomed even more. I feel more cared for, protected, and truly loved. I am still a bit of a spitfire, but he pulls the reins in when needed. Besides, I think he'd be bored if I wasn't. *smiles*

The Two S's

2010-05-23T12:47:00.000-04:00

Finally Luke and I got some alone time. My oldest son came down from Pensacola for a few days, so he took our middle son out for awhile. My other daughter is at a birthday party in Orlando. When the door shut we both looked at each other with a little smile. I knew I had a reminder and finally I could get one not bent over the tub.

Luke's wrists were hurting so the warm-up was quick, he relied on the implements to do his handiwork. He laid out the two paddles from Leather Thorns, a wicked paint stick and the hog bat. Over the the couch I went and there I stayed for quite some time. I took it like a champ! After he was done we enjoyed some lovely afternoon sex!!! What an amazing Sunday. *sighs*

Vanilla Friends

2010-05-20T08:31:00.000-04:00

Recently, I shared my writing site with a girlfriend where I live. She was originally from Europe and she is very open minded, we have had many dicey conversations sitting by the pool side. On Friday's we often discuss the previous weeks writing or she gives input for a subject she would like to me to write on. My next door neighbor whom I wrote a post about also visits my site and shared with a few of his friends. Bottom line quite a few people whom I consider friends in my community where I live frequent my writing site. While this is all fine, there is a side of me that they don't know about and I am not willing to share. That is the DD side to my relationship. Mostly because we know that people who aren't wired or practice will be judgemental because they don't understand.

I have already had to put out one small fire. My girlfriend's fiancee saw the site and got very angry about it. So one night as we were all having dinner I found myself explaining why I started writing. I basically told him that when my husband would travel it was my outlet of writing my sexual fantasies or desires. I told him that was a lot better than actually cheating on my husband. Later that evening I was talking with Luke I started to get angry because I shouldn't have to explain myself. I told Luke it's my prerogative if I want hardcore sex, sodomized, tied up or spanked, besides I love what this lifestyle has done for our sex life and our marriage.

I was approached yesterday by another neighbor who has been asking for my site link, I was very hesitant. I just flat out told her that here's the deal if she chooses to read it, I don't want to hear any negative comments and I don't feel like being judged. She understood and personally she is really sweet so I didn't see her being critical. In fact, she sent me several texts saying thanks for sharing and she enjoyed reading the stories.

Here's my thinking why I chose to share my site, because there are a lot of people here who also have husbands and wives they are away from, and if my stories can give them some sort of sexual release or make their own relationships better I am happy. Have any of you shared with some one you considered vanilla? How did it play out?

Silent but Deadly

2010-05-12T08:15:00.000-04:00

Since our son has come to live with us Luke has had to find the small pockets of time to deal with me. He still gives plenty of playful swats and a few warning ones, but they don't know the difference. When he is serious, I get the "look" and most of us ladies know the look. This also means when they are in the house we have had to use quieter implements. This is not always good because they can tend be deadlier. Don't get me wrong I know a spanking is supposed to hurt, but we have had to forgo warm-ups most of the time-to loud. I am usually bent over the tub with the water running.

His attitude has come full circle and he is back to the Luke I longed for before this last trip. Lately, he has been spot on. Monday I got my reminder and it went well. He took his time and made sure to hug me when he was finished. That evening, I was kind of mouthy...(shocker huh?) and he didn't hesitate to take me in the bathroom and administer 20 quick swats with the cane. Even though it stung like the dickens, my heart was warm and fuzzy. Because he has been dealing with things in the moment instead of ignoring them like he did in the past. Last night same thing, I had a small attitude and before I climbed into bed I was ushered into the bathroom for 30 swats with the hog bat. I used to think that was a great GG implement, not so much when you use the rod part and not the leather piece. Ouch!

Hopefully in time we will be able to be bring back out the louder implements as we get more alone time. He is getting more creative with other discipline techniques that I mentioned in my letter to him, which I think I might regret in time.

Close Neighbors

2010-05-07T08:55:00.000-04:00

You have to love close neighbors! At least I am lucky that I live next to a European, and one who is very open minded. He doesn't know about the DD, but does know that I write and reads Katia's Writings. Not to long ago, Luke was spanking me playfully. I was teased about this through another close neighbor who happened to be over that evening at his house. Apparently they could hear me saying, " Ouch, that hurts!"
So I text him telling him that I was sorry to disappoint him, but no sex was involved just a little playful swatting.
He writes back, "When I heard you say ow...it brought a smile to my face."
I text back, "I didn't realize you had a sadistic side."
His response, "No, just a great sense of humor."
Well, it's nice to know when he hears swatting that he will at least be smiling. Glad I can entertain my neighbors!

Constant Change

2010-05-02T08:10:00.000-04:00

I feel like a top that is spinning in all sorts of directions since Luke has gotten home. My life has changed so much since his return. While his life is getting back to a normal routine, mine has been in disarray. Our relationship is starting to come full circle which is nice. I still see opportunity had he "stepped up" we could have put a few disagreements behind us. I do have a reminder on Monday, so I am hoping this one does NOT go like last weeks.

My exercise schedule has been completely screwed because of our conflicting schedules. I had to quit Cross Fit which was hard. It was the first time I did something with out him and was really proud of what I accomplished. I am still doing the boot camp a few nights a week, but I need more...I'm bored.

We had another cog thrown in this week. As of Monday my stepson is coming to live with us. I got a text on my phone, "Please help me! I need out!" I have always had a very close relationship with both my stepsons. He screwed up pretty big, but his real mother has never been able to accept what happens, put it behind and find a solution. She just blows everything into a huge production. It is pretty bad timing with only 6 weeks left of school. She threw him out, packed up his things pretty much disowning him. He is staying with my oldest daughter until he arrives Monday. He is will be seventeen this month, so it's not like we have many more years to raise him. He is a great kid-smart, musically talented, and funny. It has been pretty stressful these last few days dealing with Luke's ex...because he can't. Trying to assure my son that this too shall pass and all will be okay. Trying to keep my own household somewhat to a normal schedule.

It's going to be more of a challenge for D/D now that we have another set of ears in the house. I am really going to have to sit back and be patient...which is not my strong point! I am a pretty positive person...that is what keeps me from going insane. I know in time things for me will eventually get back to normal...okay semi-normal.

Slick Move On His Part

2010-04-29T08:16:00.001-04:00

As I was getting ready for bed last night I was being a tad sassy. Luke smacked me with a hairbrush the first time I made a smart mouth remark. I told him to put his weapon away that I would stop. I went to brush my teeth, and as he walked by I smacked him pretty good. He whirled around and I ran to the walk in closet (dumb move) with my toothbrush in my mouth. He grabbed a belt motioning me to walk out. What possessed me I am not sure, but I grabbed the cane for self defense. He got a few good swats in as I exited the closet. I swung back with the cane, and it left a nice little mark on his thigh. He rushed me and had me over the bed with my toothbrush still in my mouth. He began to switch me with the cane quickly. Of course, I couldn't yell because of the toothbrush. I didn't want to spit it out and get the comforter all nasty. When he was finished, I went to finally spit out the toothpaste. He came up and smacked me while I was bent over. My immediate response, "Hey!" Luke's- "It's good training."
Last night was playful, but he is definitely getting back in his groove and I love it!!!

Finally!!

2010-04-26T09:03:00.000-04:00

I was so nervous yesterday after I gave him the letters. I spent some time with some friends at the pool and had a beer. The weather threatened to get nasty, so I finally got the nerve to see if he had read them and what he thought.

He was in a great mood and he appreciated the letters. He understood what I was trying to get across and wasn't offended or hurt. I thought I would test the waters a little. I walked to the bedroom and grabbed a paddle that I got from John's site. I asked him if I could get the reminder for the F bomb I dropped on the golf course. He happily obliged bending me over the couch. When he finished I started to get up to thank him. Instead, I was treated to some amazing middle of the day sex!

One day at a time, but I think my old Luke is back! Yipppeee!

Connected but Confused

2010-04-24T20:19:00.000-04:00

Our first reconnection was actually a few days ago. KayLynn and I had quite an IM session over it. I also had a long conversation with my girlfriend Misty. I'm just going to say it went very wild and woolly. No direction, and I think a tad of anger thrown in. I chalked it off and looked forward to Monday.
Yesterday we decided to do the reminder. I was hoping for the connection that was definitely lost the other day. It started off not so well, he mocked the warm-up and I was actually laughing through it. Not a good way to take someone seriously. Then he became quiet, basically raffling through our box of implements. Again, wild and woolly- I couldn't keep still because he was going from leather to wood, then a crop, then who knows. At least there was no anger, more of an attitude of lets see how fast I can get this done. When he was done he walked out, nothing said. I just laid there thinking what the hell! I walked out hugged him and thanked him. He asked if I was sore and I was honest- nope!
So last night I stewed and decided to write him a long letter, which ended up being two letters. I slept like two hours because I could not shut my brain off. I shared my heart...again. I know he is reading them at this moment and I can only hope I didn't just dig a bigger gap between us.
We had a really great morning together hitting the golf course at the crack of dawn. We had a great time and laughed a lot. I had a good game shooting four over par and only one cuss word.
I don't care if we have to start from square one again. I am going to try not to let my heart affect my attitude. I will keep you up to date.
The spanking must have inspired something, I was able to write yesterday. You can check it out on Katia's Writings.

Strikes

2010-04-21T08:15:00.000-04:00

Luke is starting to settle in. I am getting those looks now letting me know when I have pushed the envelope a little to far. When I cuss, he is now letting me know it is not acceptable. The playful swats are happening more and more.

We used to do a maintenance/reminders on Mondays because my daughter is gone at practice for several hours. This next Monday will be our first again... if it happens. I am excited, but nervous all at the same time. Luke is more of a numbers guy than just flipping me over for a spanking. When I screw up he usually responds by holding up a finger. It started that way because of kids around, his way of chastising without words. Each strike usually represented between 15 to 30 swats. We had a conversation about this high balance I have accumulated, and because of mouth he took it as a challenge. It went something like this:

K: Luke I doubt you will seriously spank me that much.

L: Is that a challenge?

K: No, just from our past you hate to see me bruise. Yea, I have a high pain tolerance... but you also know I bruise easy.

L: Your point?

K: My point is I know you and how you are with me.

L: You must have me confused for that other guy who spanked you.

Then there was a huge silence. It was an awkward moment. I know that there is no resentment on his part because we have talked about it, and because he laughed after he said it. I think in the future though, I have learned when he says he doesn't want to know something to keep my big mouth shut!

Luke has a very kind heart and has never spanked out of anger, only with love. Whatever the outcome I can not wait for that connection between us!

Not Quite The Reunion I Expected...

2010-04-17T08:16:00.000-04:00

Luke is back and we are trying to settle back into normality. I haven't posted about our reunion because it didn't go quite as I expected. I have thought about sharing this for awhile and decided what the hell. While Luke was gone he gave his blessing if I needed to be spanked I had his permission to do so, he just didn't want to know. When you are in a DD relationship things about you change, you have a sense of vulnerability. You are use to to rules and guidance. It is has always been a joke between Luke and I that I will never be demure, I am just to feisty and mischievous. Although, I have worked really hard to let him lead, guide, care for, and protect me.

When he leaves especially for long periods of time I can easily slide back to a leader position, with that attitude of no man will tell me what to do. I decided not to go there this time and did seek help. Mainly to stay accountable to the things I was already with Luke. When Luke leaves he is in a position that requires his full attention and anything DD related has to be tucked away.

This person I contacted is man with great integrity, and had no problem keeping things discreet for me. He did what I needed, and he gave one hell of a spanking. I kept in contact with him on a weekly basis through reports and phone calls. He introduced a few things I wasn't to thrilled about like lines and timeouts, but he didn't give that option of saying no. I also had a few close friends that were there for moral support and throwing in their two cents. It accomplished exactly what I wanted. When Luke came home I had no problem from day one stepping back.

Here is the thing- Luke was not ready to step back into a DD relationship. I understand he needs time to readjust. His job is anything but normal. I will admit I was pretty hurt at first, then that hurt turned to anger. Let's just say I can be a real bitch when I am hurt and angry. We had a few days where he got the "old me" as he puts it and it's not good.

Yesterday was not a good day, the paddle I had made for him came. I was so excited! He looked at it and said thanks, but he didn't even try it out. I put back in the box and under the bed feeling pretty hurt again. I was talking with a good friend last night and she told me I had to be honest with him, tell him how I feel. I knew she was right because I was just tucking all the hurt and anger inside trying to mask a happy appearance. I knew I wasn't doing well because Luke kept asking me what was wrong, I claimed I was tired. I knew that excuse wouldn't last long. I finally sat down with him and just shared my heart. We came to a good compromise, one that works for both of us. I am willing to step back and take things on his terms and pace. I at least have hope knowing in time we will be back to how it was before he left. I am happy for the few playful swats and look forward to that time he will want to spank again.